THE CHIEF STOKER'S LOG - JANUARY 2008

JANUARY EDITION OF IN DEPTH NOW ONLINE

Sunday, 27^th JANUARY 2008 - AUSTRALIA DAY WEEKEND

Yesterday 92 members of the Australian Defence organisation were recognised with Australia Day Honours. No (current) submariners appeared on the list, something that is becoming the norm.  Is it that no submariners are worthy of mention, or is it too difficult to raise the paperwork?  I think it is the latter, the SM FEG has experienced problems over the years just to identify and award those that are submarine specific.  Do the right thing and try a little harder to get recognition for those worthy of it. 

Australia Day is special for me, it is my Birthday and I was inundated with calls and email, many thanks to those that took the time to contact me.  Like ANZAC Day, Oz Day seems to be gaining in popularity, I was impressed by the number of houses and cars in our area flying the Flag.

I was both disappointed and saddened to receive the following from Tug Wilson yesterday "Our spit about APATHY is true or very few Members are reading the Log. I have had only two Members donate this week. NO VOLUNTEERS TO DO THE "WALK" AT ALL.  Taking into account this is a golden opportunity to get our own welfare problems out to the general public I find it a bit strange.  An update on my cancer......chemo has failed and they've given me a few months at best. The Doctors are now feeding me some "super pills" that they hope will keep me upright until after the "WALK" so come on you lads let's get off our collective backsides and get involved!! At the moment there's more civvies wanting to walk than Submariners."  My only hope is that the submarine community is still in 'stand down' mode and that next week the responses will start to take off.  If you are involved in a business that can spare a few dollars for a worthy cause I am happy to place advertisements in our 'Classifieds' for the next 6 months at no cost. 

If for some reason you cannot walk, surely $10 wouldn't hurt for the kids. Please go to www.walkforkidswithcancer.com to register to walk and/or register your donation, the amount raised by donation to date is $3,150 - I am sure hope that visitors to The Log can double this by next Sunday!!!. Bank details on website.

The local petrol station in Bauple was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' I pulled in, filled my tank, and then asked for the free sex. The owner told me to pick a number from 1 to 10. If I guessed correctly, I would get the free sex.
I guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.' Later in the week I called in with my neighbour, Bluey, for a fill-up. Again I asked for the free sex. The proprietor again gave me the same story, and asked me to guess the correct number. I guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 4. You were close, but no free sex this time.'  As I was driving away I said to my mate, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'  My neighbour replied, 'No, it ain't norm. It ain't rigged -- my Missus won twice last week.'

I had dinner at the same neighbours place last week and was told a local lad, Fred, had a date with their daughter, Sue. When he arrived to pick her up, her mother welcomed Fred in. "Have a seat, Sue is just getting changed. She asked Fred "So, what are you and Sue planning to do tonight?" she asked. Fred replied that he would take her into Gympie for dinner and the dance...."Sue likes to screw, you know, her Dad and I taught her" Mom informed him. Both Fred's and my eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?" Fred asked.   "Oh yes," the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!" "Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous. "Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!" "Well, thanks for the tip!" Fred said, thinking about alternate plans for the evening. A moment later, Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture in her jeans and denim tanktop. She greeted Fred with a chaste kiss on the cheek.  "Have fun, kids!" the mother said as they left.  About an hour later, much to our surprise, a completely disheveled Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her. "Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen. "The Twist, Dammit! It's called the Twist!" 

Things have been quiet on the news front this week, so I will only have a short entry this week, I have several bottles of Chardonnay and a pool waiting for me. 

Around the Traps

WA Branch News
Secretary Paul Meakin advis that A Special General Meeting will be held at the Swan Yacht Club on Sunday 3rd February commencing at 1100. Remember what a wonderful location this is and plan to arrive early and enjoy breakfast before the meeting or hang around and have lunch afterwards. The Agenda for the meeting is primarily to Ratify the Position of President, Secretary and Treasurer and to discuss preparations for SUBCON 2009.

Members attention is also drawn to the website for Tug Wilson's Charity Walk in May/June this year to coincide with the 2008 SUBCON. Noting the difficulty for WA Members to directly support the walk I urge you to dig deep in your pockets and sponsor the walk as a sign of support to Tug. Well Shipmates I'll sign off now and hope to see you at the Swan Yacht Club.

Nicole Peters - RIP I am sorry to report the death of Nicole Peters.  Nicole was the daughter of  Pat and Rod Peters (ex POUCS/M) of Holbrook.  She died on Australia Day at the Rockingham Hospital in WA. She leaves behind 2 beautiful girls Letysha and Katelyn and her soul mate John McDonald.

Lloyd Blake, Vice President of the WA Branch, at the invitation of Kath Pouleris, the President of WWII SUBVETS Western Australia assisted in the dispatch of the ashes of Jack Glotzback, a USN WWII Subvet who died in WA recently. lloyd said some words of farewell as Jack's ashes were cast on the ocean at Fremantle. Simultaneous with this simple ceremony, Jack's daughter living in California was thinking of her Father in a similar ceremony casting a wreath on the Pacific coast of California.

Queensland Branch News
The Queensland Branch Executive have asked me to assist in putting a section on the website to help identify issues for submission for the AGM at SUBCON 2008.  This request was the outcome of the Branch meeting held this month at which 40 plus members attended. I have agreed and the new section, which is almost complete, will contain polls and the facility for SAA Members to submit ideas for consideration.  It is hoped that the results, which will be promulgated online, will help ALL Branch Executives in formulating policy and direction in a timely manner and lead to changes to the Constitution that will improve business processes.  For some considerable time the Members of SAA Qld Inc have debated the structure of the Association and have come to the conclusion that there is a need for change including:

• The basic set up of the AGM - only those attending SUBCON get to vote and this is not necessarily equitable.  What are the alternatives?

• System of voting at the AGM - explore the introduction of online and postal voting.  How cost effective, resource intensive and safe are they?

The basic premise for these proposed changes is that the number of persons attending SUBCON in the past is not representative of the total membership and that people need more time to carefully consider and debate each proposal prior to any vote being taken.  Full details of the rationale behind these and other issues will be fully identified in the new section and all SAA members will be able to have their say.  It should be available later this week and I will email all members when it is online.

Upcoming SAA Events 3rd February 2008 1100 WA Special General Meeting 17th February 2008 1130 VIC BBQ 17th February 2008 1130 NSW  General Meeting Details available in SAA Events Diary

Emerald resident Cole Klease sent a short note to let me know how he was holding up. Emerald is in the grip of a pending flood. He wrote "I took time out from having a few calming ales on Saturday 19th to teach the kids to swim - I used the spa and with some success although they just couldn't get the tread water thing happening. Being an ex-submariner I am not too concerned as I am used to going down or is that under. Garth Schmidt rang on Sunday to see how I was fairing and gave the usual words of support. I think my North Queensland comrades were on the slops. Anyhow we may have to evacuate sometime today (Monday) to higher ground but I am not going until the contents of the beer fridge are depleted - only problem with that is they will have to float me out. Stay safe."  I have not heard how Cole faired, I hope that his place was spared.

Queensland Member Dale 'Bluey' Ainsworth writes "Just a quick note to let you all know that Peter 'Possum' Adams' operation for mouth cancer (2nd round) went AOK. The doctors at Royal Brisbane and Womans' Hospital removed an area of skin around where the last tumour was removed on left side of his mouth, a small lump on the right side of mouth and some lymph glands in left side of his neck were also removed (17th Jan). Pathology results came back good, no sign the cancer has spread. He is in good spirits and hopefully will be discharged from hospital on Friday. We are going on the walk-a-thon in May for Kids with Cancer, from Coolangatta to Canberra.  We would be thankful if you would like to sponsor us or donate something to this worthwhile cause." If you would like to sponsor Dale or Peter please email them.

Les Rawson sent the following dit. George Carnegie was an ABUC, not known for his joviality, in fact he was the eternal pessimist. So his face was pretty long for anyone to notice George was having a particularly sad day. Under questioning, George let everyone know he was in the shit, and pretty deep after getting an erection during his medical that morning. At the time, the RN had one female medical officer, and in fact she was apparently the only commissioned female officer in the RN as WREN officers weren't commissioned, and she wasn't a WREN.

The sad part to the beginning of this tale is that this female medical officer was known as Rosa Kleb after the height and looks disadvantaged Russian agent from the James Bond movie. So there was a lot of interest in how she had got George excited to that extent, especially as we had been alongside for a couple of weeks and Dumbarton Debs were in a bumper season at the piss-bar.

We were not to find out until George went to the table; and then only from the Coxn. George had been charged by HMS Neptune, so had to front Capt SM. Our Skipper, Jimmy and Coxn had to go along so Capt SM could bollock them for running a slack submarine. However, George had turned the tables, and countered that it was the MO herself who was responsible. George claimed she had been checking his blood pressure and had over inflated the cuff causing all the blood to run out of his arm, and it had nowhere else to go!

George was found Not Guilty, the Skipper ordered to shout the CO's table in Neptune Wardroom at lunchtime and the Coxn gave George his tot as it was the first time he had ever seen Capt SM speechless.

Les's dit brought back memories of my encounter with the good doctor while I was posted to HMS Onyx.  I had been suffering from headaches which mainly manifested themselves while reading.  The coxswain sent me packing to to the Sick Bay as were were due to go 'on patrol' and he was taking no chances.  On entering her office she got right down to it, no fore play at all, just a 'get undressed'.  I tried to explain that I had been getting headaches and thought I needed glasses, but was once again ordered to get naked. Being a shy young lad, and her being as ugly as a coxswains arsehole, there was no chance of getting an erection, so off came the clobber.  She rinsed her hands and picked up an oversized paddle pop stick (an ordinary sized paddle pop stick would have been sufficient) and started to 'investigate' my underwater fittings.  She then looked into my throat (using a new paddle pop stick I am pleased to say) and said to get dressed.  Once dressed she said I would have to go to the optometrist in Glasgow for glasses.  No once had she looked at my eyes or got me to read off an eye chart. The only eye she looked at definitely did not need glasses!

The trip to Glasgow with a LS Scabscratcher ended up in disaster.  The scabscratcher was taking two bags to the laboratory for testing for radioactivity, so I got to carry a bag of shit without knowing the contents until we arrived at the laboratory.  This task was completed by 0930 and the scabscratcher suggested that we do the tourist thing and have a tour of Glasgow until my appointment at 1330.  I did not think that this was a good idea, too much traffic and too little of interest to visit so I made a suggestion "let's have a beer and discuss it".  He was reluctant until I said that I would shout.............. did I mention he was Scottish?  To cut a long story short, we arrived at the specialists late and very drunk.  I had purchased a trumpet and I think that they only agreed to see me because 1.  I refused to leave; and 2. I am not very good at playing the trumpet!!!   The complaint to the CO of the Base arrived well before my glasses but fortunately after the Onyx had sailed.  My glasses eventually caught up with us at sea, but obviously readings taken while drunk can be a little off the mark, they were like the bottom of coke bottles and of no use at all.  I wasn't game to go back to the sick bay for a new referral to the specialist and put up with headaches for many years after that.

Able Seaman Brett Campany asked "Still swimming in sunny Qld? So much for summer, fingers crossed it'll ease up on the drought situation! Just watch out for those crocs coming down from the north! I'm sitting here in my office at the SMHQ and thinking about the history of our submarines and the squadron itself. There's lots of info online about the boats and some of the missions we've conducted and the changes made over the years but I was wondering if anyone at all has documented some old warries and those good old yarns that you occasionally hear in the hall ways? I realise that there's a few buzz's that could be a little stretch of the truth but I reckon if we had a few old salts in their own time document some of the times they've experienced whilst in the service, it not only could be a good read but could also hold some historic significance.  Do you know if there is anything like this around or would it be something that could benefit the new comers into the service?"  I have been collecting bits and pieces for years and have started to put it together as a book, but time is my enemy.  I hope to have something self published by the end of the year, so any dits like Les's are always welcome.  Mind you, no-one will believe most of them, I know I don't believe half the things I am credited with doing, but then again there are countries I have been to that are just a blur.  Must be something they put in the water that erased my memory of them.

Jim Joyce said "Please tell me I am not the only one who saw the live coverage yesterday on Sky News, of a submarine surfacing off Sydney "With Smoke Coming from it, no sign of any crew at this stage, we will keep you informed." Have our journos never seen a Collins class surface and flash up the Port Diesel?? I am still laughing." A regular occurrence, even in the 'O' boat days.

Col and Helen Deller have arrived back in the country after our 15 month trip around the country and overseas and advise that they have a new email address and a new phone number too, but are still at the same home address for those of you who happen to visit the beautiful Whitsundays.

Looking for............
Simon Hamstead, the Medals Regulator at HMAS Stirling is trying to locate ex Leading Seaman Glenn Lloyd. The last information on him was that he may be working in Sydney for the Transport Authority. If any member or reader of this website has any information on him could you pass it to Simon as he has a medal for him.

Can you help Eddy Nelson who asks "I wonder if you can help me find June Skeates, formerly from Barrow in Furness, England.  I served my time as a radio and television engineer with her dad's firm. I'm now retired and would like to hear from her family, the last address I had was North West Queensland." 

Jack Bartimote is seeking shipmates who were on HMAS Sydney in Vung Tau between 4th and 6th May 1966 and also 6th and 8th June 1966. He writes "I was an OD at the time involved in dog bodies duties. We were moving an electric motor which slipped out the sling crashing two of us to the deck. I can't remember the other blokes name. I received a back injury.  It wasn't reported as I was told to get up and get on with it. This injury is well recorded with subsequent flare ups documented in my naval medical records and now I'm restricted to using a walking stick. DVA won't entertain my claim without a witness. If you can help please email me."

No ordinary jukebox
Click on this site and once there add the site to your Favourites!! This one is a keeper. When you click on this site, there is a Jukebox that will play all of your favourite songs from 1950 through 1982. Each year has a scroll or drop down box that shows all the great songs for that year. Most years have over 40 songs. One of the best features is that it will play in the background. This is the great music from the past. No Gangster Rap or other unintelligible garbage that has been foisted on the public with an attempt to pass it off as music. There is also Christmas Music, Movie Themes, Show Tunes and lots of other categories.

Obituary
Michael Maurice Edward Pearson the Secretary of the Submariners' Association Western Australian Branch died on Wednesday, 23 January 2008.  Mike served in HM Submarines, Seraph, Taciturn, Andrew and Tactician from 1955 to 1962. He retired from the Royal Navy as a Leading Seaman.

In Case of Emergency Campaign
We all carry our mobile phones with names and numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than if we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign.

The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE".

Polish plug skills shortage
Polish workers are helping plug a skills shortage at Barrow shipyard. Unions are backing the move, as long as Barrow and British workers are offered any new jobs first. Shipyard bosses say four Polish pipe fabricators are already employed on a trial basis in the pipe shop.

More Poles could follow if a drive to recruit hundreds more workers from Cumbria and the rest of the UK, fails to find enough skilled people to do the jobs. BAE spokesman Chris Nelson said: “The four Polish workers are experienced pipe fabricators and will work only in the pipe shop.”

They are not allowed to go in the main Devonshire Dock Hall submarine assembly area, due to British secrecy laws, as they are not UK citizens. Mr Nelson said: “They will not be working in either the Devonshire Dock complex or on board the submarine units in the Devonshire Dock Hall.

Head of resourcing for BAE Submarine Solutions, Graham Hempsall, says the yard is still recruiting locally and continuing to invest in the training of young people and mature recruits. It is also involved in the retraining of employees to meet the needs of the business.

He said: “The shipyard remains committed to employing local labour when it is available and appropriately skilled, and we would like to hear from anyone in Barrow who has the skills we need – ranging from pipe fabricators and fitters and planners, to estimators, team leaders and engineers.  “However, we are trialing the Polish team because we can’t guarantee to recruit the required volume of skills we need in the UK.”

DVA Helpline
I rang DVA the other day and I got this from the answering machine.
  If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
  If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6
  If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can frace the call.
  If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be passed to the mother ship.
  If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
  If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
  If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696
  If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes to the line.
  If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth and your mothers maiden name.
  If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.
  If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss press 9, If you have short term memory loss press 9.
  If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
  If you are all of the above, congratulations you are a Submariner, don't forget to get in touch with your Advocate.

Go to beyondblue, a national, independent, not-for-profit organisation working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related substance issues so that you may help others, or maybe even yourself.

“There is nothing wrong with asking for help.”

Come on Boof, time for bed ...........

Sunday, 20^th JANUARY 2008

For two months Bob 'Tug' Wilson has been trying to interest Members of the SAA in his walk with benefits going to children with cancer and I for one will do all I can to help. On visiting Tug's Walk for Kids with Cancer website I note that there has been little response from the Association and Members of the Association. I am surprised at the lack of response, you have all put your hands in your pockets for worthy causes in the past and this one is indeed a worthy cause.  In response to an email I sent to Tug on the response he said "I thank those that have made offers to walk and also for the donations they have made. This walk will in no way benefit me, in fact it is costing me, and I hope to still be here to walk in May, I had hoped by having predominately ex submariners walking it would draw attention to our Association and also our welfare problems. Unfortunately for our Association we seem to be beset with apathy. This is not a competition between States." 

It appears from the responses that the Army, the Skimmers, ex Navy Divers Association, Naval Association, Rotary and the RSL are more interested in the walk than the submarine community is. If for some reason you cannot walk, surely $10 wouldn't hurt for the kids. Please go to www.walkforkidswithcancer.com to register to walk and/or register your donation, the amount raised by donation to date is $2,500 - I am sure that visitors to The Log can double this by next Sunday!!!. Bank details on website.

Not a lot to report this week, the rain continues, the garage is waterlogged and still no cement.  But at least I have not had a flood like several of our Northern Queensland members, and I hope that things settle down soon.  I understand that Airlie Beach resident Phil Solomon was unaware that the waters were rising until he realised that his rum was getting diluted.  A call the the SES soon had his liquor supply moved to the roof and all was well.  They tried to move him to higher grounds and they even offered to take his dog as he kept mumbling 'I'm not leaving my mate behind' but it turned out it was the rum he was talking about.

It was good to hear from Kev Marengo, also from NQ this week.  He is high enough not to worry about floodwaters, but is complaining about having to mow the lawn daily as it is growing that fast.  Sounds a bit like here.  I actually went out and helped on the lawnmower run this week, John and Shaz have fallen behind, so I decided to help.  Never again!!! They took the ride on run and left me with the push mower.  The first couple of jobs weren't too bad but I arrived at my next job to find it 15 inches high, wet and thick.  After about 45 minutes I was reaching the end (of the job and energy) and was moving into the final corner when I noticed a head sticking up from behind a tree stump.  I jumped back and it disappeared, was I imaging it?  I moved forward and it reappeared, yes a bloody snake.  I decided then and there that the job was finished and started to retreat, only to discover another one, a bit smaller than the first was at my feet.  I considered using the mower as a blender, but took off instead.  Here endeth my mowing career...........

What has happened to Communications in the Association?  For the Association to function properly we must communicate and the Executive must take responsibility for making sure that we are kept informed of involvement with Branch, Government and kindred Associations.  The dissemination of this information is ad hoc, to say the least, despite having a newsletter and website to communicate. One sign that the Association's communications with it's Members is lacking is the letter received from the Minister for Veteran's Affairs regarding the nomination of members for appointment as Services Members of the Veterans Review Board.  The letter was circulated to the National and Branch Executives, but not to the broader membership for any possible expressions of interest.  Any nominations were to come from the Association but as this information was not widespread we missed the boat, applications were required by the 4^th January.   Why wasn't this information made available to Members?

I am not pointing fingers at any one, the Executive and Committees are trying, but it is time that the focus was put on the future direction of the Association and this can only be done if everyone plays their part.  It is depressing to see Branch committees working hard to maintain the interest of Members, but the apathy is appalling.  I note in the current issue of In Depth that, once again, the NSW Branch with over 300 members, did not have a quorum at their last meeting.  This is disgraceful and must be a kick in the balls to the Committee.  Is it the venue, the committee or the format of the meetings that results in these low numbers attending.  If so, it is the member's fault, you need to speak up and tell the committees so that they can solve the problem, tell them what you want, even if it means attending a meeting.  Numbers attending are increasing at Branches that make the meeting a social function with wives and friends invited, gone are the days of 'formal' meetings followed by a drinking session.  No one asks that you attend every meeting, we all have other commitments, but even one a year would revitalise the Association and give the office bearers hope.

With only six months to SUBCON it is time for all to get involved, Agenda items and Nominations for National Executive are required in March and April.  Over the next few months I intend making Members aware of the issues that are outstanding and the proposed methods being considered to address.  I will conduct surveys and polls online so that the National Executive understand what you the member wants. 

I will probably get my arse chewed out for airing 'dirty linen' in public again, but I care not. 

Around the Traps

From all reports there was a good turn up for John Laver's funeral and Allen Dangerfield reported "I attended Rods Funeral today, it was quite a solemn and moving occasion. Rod was an active member of the Parramatta RSL Sub Branch, hence the RSL handled most of the formal side, whilst his family took turns reading their own eulogies. His Grandkids banded together to read the 23rd Psalm, whilst 'Essence O'Brien' and I read the Harbour Stations checks from FWD to AFT (Just Joking). There were a lot of Submariners present. even 'Jumpa' Cross and Tommy Johnson. I couldn't make it to the wake at Parramatta RSL, but I believe the club arranged quite a send off."   Geoff Piesse has sent this shot which was taken about 6 weeks ago in Sawtell. Geoff said "You cannot but admire Rod's amazing attitude and the photo says it all. We had a great afternoon with his Mum and sister Carol. Rod knew what was going on and his future but he carried on regardless. A great inspiration to all of us! He was a real stalwart at sea and will be fondly remember by many of us." 

In a letter to Rod's daughter Helen Terry “Titch the Muppet” Parsons reminisced "I have known your Dad for some 30 years. When I joined the Submarine Arm in 1980, Rod was on HMAS Onlsow as After Mess Kellick and was basically my Sea Dad as a Part III. We remained together on that boat for some 2 years.

When he was in Sawtell recently, I caught up with him, your Gran and Auntie, and I told him then he looked like Crap and then proceeded to spend about 2 hours with them, being allowed only to talk between Bingo Games, although we did get some one on one time during the ½ hour Bingo Call break. As you can imagine, we had a pretty good mate ship, that had survived for some years. Remembering that I left the Squadron in November 1984.

In all the time I new “Rod”, he was the same person, black and white with very little shades of grey in between. He was a fair and just individual, a great teacher, patient, willing to give time of himself to assist anyone who wanted to learn the fine art of being a Submariner.

The fellow you knew as your Dad was a mongrel of a man you know. When we together last, we were laughing how I would spend hours as a Part III crawling in bilges, doing bloody drawings of pipe systems, neat, perfectly laid out and then as a 20 year old, as proud as one should be of ones work, presented them to “Rod” for marking. He would then proceed to review, mark and then, if it was wrong, screw it up and throw it in the bin and say I had missed something. He would then send me back down that Snake Pit, to find the missing thing. After a couple of hours, he would show me the valve I was missing, something so small you would overlook it readily, but in “Rod’s” eyes, it was as important as the big valve that you could easily see and deserved the same amount of respect. Once again he was right!!

I think I actually christened him as COMAUSGOBRONONE. This meant that “Rod”, sarcastically, was the Commander of the Australian Gob Squadron which was a play on the title COMAUSSUBRONONE which is the Commander of the Australian Submarine Squadron. Our joke and he called affectionately called me a Muppet, which meant I was the “Most Useless Prick Pussers Ever Trained” something which was used to describe all the people who were the later series of Navy Apprentices of which I was one. Only when I was naughty, getting impatient or sick of redoing my drawings would he start to call me Terry. I am sure you will have seen this behavior as his daughter on many occasions.

Personally, there were a great deal of quality British and Australian Submariners created as a result of POMTP3*SM John “Rod” Laver’s efforts.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend Dad’s funeral as I will be somewhere between Coffs Harbour and Perth at that time. Currently I am in Melbourne as I write this note to you. I will take the time for a quiet moment to reflect on our mate ship at the time."

CPOCISSM Darren 'Thommo' Thompson has returned to the West after a posting to Canberra.  He writes "Happy New Year and I hope you are enjoying the place where they can't spell beer! Well the New Year finds me back in WA and posted to SM HRM working as Colin 'Wingnut' Prior's 'boy'. The spouse is happy with the move and I must admit it is nice to have a more relaxing lifestyle when away from work. Have already caught up with a few old and bolds such as Andy Fraser (CPORSSM), Andy Wilkinson, Eric Jones and Rod Peters who was visiting from East. It was sad to hear about Rocket Rod. I saw him about a month before I left the East and love or hate him he was a Squadron icon. I know I will be holding my own little wake for him today over here in WA. I am sure he will be sitting upstairs in the training facility running taskbooks as he had done for many years in the school at Plats.  All the best Norm and I will keep in touch from the SM HRM side."  I am sure that we will be hearing more from the FEG in the future, one of the things that I want to see in the soon to be released 'combined' website will be regular involvement from the uniforms. 

Grant Kelly asked "Would you have Carl Smiths email? He was a Kellick Stoker on Orion with me in the late 80's. He is now living and working in Japan and the bride and I are heading over next month, so if you don't have the details perhaps you could put a call out for me. PS Rod Laver had a nice send off yesterday"  I have warned Carl, the Supervisor of Foreign Studies at Amagasaki City Board of Education, to hide the Geishas and to lock the drinks cupboard.

Sean Kenney responded to the December Log item showing a photo taken at Leeuwin when he was a boy by sending this photo of him now that he is all grown up. He said "Hey Norm, well I'm in Ghana in Africa working now as a project manager for a Newmont mine here."  It is obvious that he is digging up the beauties.....................

How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook? An arm and a leg...

Ahoy All, The Submariners Association of Canada West current on-line Newsletter is available for your perusal ... Yours Aye & All The Best for 2008 !!! Bob Emery (for SAOC West)

Soggy Phil (Solomon) of Margaritaville wrote "G'day all, just a quick note to tell you that I will be off line for a week or two as I have to vacate the house for a while as The Airlie Beach Big Flood of Jan 2008 (I think there's a movie in that title) decided that Phil, being an ex-submariner, wouldn't mind a foot or two of water inside the house. I didn't mind too much as there was no soap in it, but I could have done without the ton of mud that came with it. Mud is supposed to be for Army blokes, not Navy. Anyhow, all is well, I have my emergency rum supply buried on an island so all will be ok. Just didn't want you to think I was rude when I don't answer your e-mails.  As Jimmy Buffett would say, "You can't reason with hurricane season!!" Away lifeboat, talk to you all soon." Phil is willing to accept aid parcels but does not want blankets, food, clothing etc, just RUM!!!

It was good to hear from my old pommy ex shipmate, Coxn Biff Mills this week. "Every thing is going to plan with getting old. "IT SUCKS", but we are kept in good spirits reading on your great web site. Of "The trials & tribulations" you and pal Boof attempting to resettle in the "SUNSHINE STATE", you should have decided to settle in the Great Victorian Desert State, nothing untoward GROW
roger HardwickeING or LIVING in this neck of the woods, even the bloody Joe Blake's are thirsty. "NO BLOODY WATER" even my Lemon & Lime Tree's have thrown the claw in. Whinge no more" I have just witnessed the dawning of another day" I'll try the same again in the morning. Helen & I send our condolences to all the family's that have just seen their loved ones embark on their final Patrol, and our prayers to all our sick buddies "Get well soon" we are both thinking of you every day. I now check the LOG to see if I have made the sick,or, eternal patrol section. Have a Happy & Safe 2008. Helen & I wish you all you wish your self's."  I have sent an emergency aid package of lemon and limes to Biff as Helen (shown here with medication in Tasmania)  must have her daily Gin to ward off malaria which is prevalent in the Hastings area, or so she tells me.

New Scam Warning
I hate these warnings and normally never mention them, but this one is important. Please send this to everyone on your e-mail list!! If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your bum, DO NOT show him your bum. This is a scam, he only wants to see your bum.

JJ Williams (currently on exchange with the RN) wrote "G'Day Norm, happy new year Mate. I have had another member of the Submarine Fraternity brave the cold and come visiting to a blustery and very chilly UK. This time it was little brother Ken and his family. Bless him, he managed to drink all the beer that Don Hickey couldn't. He did give me an excellent Christmas Present; a Submarines Australia Jacket. I think he had second thoughts about handing it over though when he realised how cold it was. I recently went down the Falkland Islands to work up a Type 42 Destroyer down there and my new jacket raised a few comments in the thriving metropolis of Port Stanley. I have included a photo of that good looking rooster brother of mine and a photo of me in front of the Atlantic Conveyor Memorial on the Falkland Islands. All the best Mate." JJ certainly gets around on this posting, is it that the boss just wants him out of the way?

School Children Writing About The Sea
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
10) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

Gus Gillis wrote "I saw Billy (O'Brien) last Sunday had a great BBQ with Billy , Hazel and family. Their daughter Caitlin was leaving Monday 14th to start her new career in the RAN. I'm sure all Bill's mate will wish her all the best she is a lovely young lady I'm sure she will do well."  A sure sign that we are getting old is;

• When we see our mate's kids joining the mob, and,

• When we use the phrase "lovely young lady".

What's a pirate's favorite subject in school? Arrrrithmetic!

New member Roberto Lunardo of New Caledonia sent this watercolor of his last submarine, Argonaut.

President Bush exempts Navy from an environmental law
President Bush exempted the Navy from an environmental law so it can continue using sonar in its anti-submarine warfare training off the California coast — a practice critics say is harmful to whales and other marine mammals. The Navy training exercises, including the use of sonar, "are in the paramount interest of the United States" and its national security, Bush said in a memorandum. "This exemption will enable the Navy to train effectively and to certify carrier and expeditionary strike groups for deployment in support of worldwide operational and combat activities, which are essential to national security," the memo said.

The decision drew immediate criticism from environmentalists who had fought to stop the Navy's sonar training.  "The president's action is an attack on the rule of law," said Joel Reynolds, director of the Marine Mammal Protection Project at the Natural Resources Defense Council. "By exempting the Navy from basic safeguards under both federal and state law, the president is flouting the will of Congress, the decision of the California Coastal Commission and a ruling by the federal court."

Critics contend sonar has harmful effects on whales, possibly by damaging their hearing, and other marine mammals worldwide. The council's lawsuit alleges the Navy's sonar causes whales and other mammals to beach themselves. In an argument that has been going on for years, the Navy has continually argued that the exercises are vital for training and that it works to minimizes the risk to marine life.

The Admiral was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Ships Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?'
A Commodore chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
A Captain said it was 50-50%.
A Chief responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Admiral turned to the AB who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
With no hesitation, the young AB responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The Admiral was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, Sir," began the AB, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

Navy Mulls New Way to Enhance, Hide Submarine Communications
Deep Siren technology would let submarines communicate with ships and shore without compromising stealth. The Deep Siren system comprises a disposable gateway buoy with an antenna that gathers radio-frequency signals and converts them to Deep Siren acoustic signals that are converted on board the submarine to text messages.

Currently, vessels can only be contacted if they are on or near the surface, which is not only inefficient but dangerous for subs furtively trolling hostile waters. Deep Siren is designed to deliver communications using acoustic, expendable buoys that, when contacted via a communications satellite in the National Security Agency's Global Information Grid, can send and receive messages to and from submerged subs as far as 175 miles (240 kilometers) away depending upon acoustic propagation conditions. "This is about bringing real-time communications to the sub, without latency," says Bill Matzelevich, a former Navy captain who retired in 2000 and is now a senior manager in government contractor Raytheon Company's Network Centric Systems group. The Navy in July awarded Raytheon a $5.2 million development contract to deliver a Deep Siren tactical paging system. "If you need to get a message urgently to a sub, you might have to wait eight hours for it to come close enough to the surface. A strike group commander may need to change direction and can't get this info to the sub immediately."

Messages to submarines are typically broadcast from onshore naval communication centers for a fixed amount of time--eight hours or so. For a sub to receive these radio-frequency or satellite messages, it must stop what it is doing within that time period, extend an antenna and rise to "periscope depth"— approximately 60 feet (18 meters) below the surface, which is shallow enough to use a periscope. During this time the sub may become more vulnerable to detection and may be more restricted in its ability to perform its mission.

Once at periscope depth, submarines tow a floating long-distance antenna behind them, but the data rates are generally slow and the wire used to tether the antenna to the sub restricts the vessel's agility. "You can only go so fast and so deep with this wire attached," Matzelevich says. "This is Word War II–era technology."

To communicate with a submerged submarine safely, a gateway mechanism is required to deliver messages deeper than periscope depth. The Deep Siren Tactical Paging system is comprised of a disposable gateway buoy with an antenna that gathers radio-frequency signals and converts them to Deep Siren acoustic signals that penetrate the water and are received by the submarine's sonar system. These acoustic signals are then converted on board the submarine to text messages with the Deep Siren receiver. The Deep Siren system also includes a portable transmit station which can be located on shore or carried on board a ship or airplane. "You want to have this be a global capability, where the buoy can be called from anywhere in the world," Matzelevich says.

Working with RRK Technologies, Ltd., in Glasgow, Scotland, and Ultra Electronics Maritime Systems in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Raytheon is developing a Deep Siren system that includes expendable buoys that are five inches (12.7 centimeters) in diameter and about 3.5 feet (one meter) long with antennas that receive signals from a constellation of Iridium Satellite, LLC, communication satellites. The buoys—designed to stay afloat for up to three days—can be ejected out of the sub's trash disposal unit without major modifications to the vessel. In this way, subs can set up their own acoustic networks without the need to tow an antenna.

The other components of Deep Siren include computers onboard subs and in communications facilities—which may be located ashore, or onboard ships or aircraft—to access messages, along with special software to interpret them. The software—written by RRK—matches different acoustic tones emitted by the buoys with a set of vocabulary words shared between the sender and receiver, performing the translation from words to tones and back to words again. This methodology allows communications to a submarine in a format similar to text messages that occur on a cell phone or PDA.

Deep Siren acoustic technology uses digital message processing to ensure that the receiver can move at a rate of greater than 30 knots (about 35 miles per hour) without incurring any measurable interference. Deep Siren uses digital signaling capabilities at lower frequencies—less than two kilohertz— and permits signal encryption to achieve secure sonar communications at a substantial range to a submarine at depth. Secure and encrypted signals permit more liberal communication from ship to submarine; enemy units may be able to pick up the signals, but they cannot decode them.

The Navy plans to conduct an at-sea military assessment of Deep Siren in June as part of its Communications at Speed and Depth initiatives.

French Firm Eyes Sub Sale to Brazil
French naval company DCNS is looking to sell a conventional attack submarine of the Scorpene type to Brazil, as the South American country looks to expand its submarine fleet, an industry executive said. “It’s part of normal commercial prospecting,” the executive said. “They are looking to develop their submarine fleet.”

Brazil has five German-built conventional submarines and wants to buy a sixth. The executive said there are no talks for sale of a nuclear-powered boat, as reported by defense newsletter TTU Jan. 17. TTU reported French President Nicolas Sarkozy could offer technical assistance to Brazil to build an atomic-powered attack submarine in a forthcoming visit, drawing on expertise at DCNS and Areva, a nuclear power company.

The DCNS submarine would be an all-French product, not the Scorpene, which is a collaborative program with Spain. Chile, Malaysia and India have bought the diesel-electric Scorpene submarine, which uses acoustic technology developed for the new generation of French ballistic missile submarines.

Eternal Patrol -  John ' Rod ' Laver

 It is with regret that we announce the passing away of John David Laver on Friday, 11 January 2008, from the effects of the cancer, mesothelioma, brought on by asbestosis.

John known to his peers as Rod first joined the Royal Navy in March 1959; having served in various ships Rod saw the light and volunteered for submarines, his first boat being HMS/m Opossum in 1966, he stayed with this boat until 1969. During several months of that year, Rod spent some time in HMS/m Astute, followed by a draft again in 1969 to HMS/m Oberon. His time in Oberon was to last until early 1973 where he was transferred for a short stint in HMS/m Cachalot. Later again that year, Rod found himself transferred to Spare Crew for HMS/m Odin in Sydney, Australia, a position he kept until December of 1975.

On 19 December 1975 Rod left the Royal Navy in Sydney and on 11 March 1976 he joined the Royal Australian Navy, his first RAN boat was HMAS Otway, which he served in until 1979. Later that year he served for a short time in HMAS Oxley, before joining HMAS Onslow, this posting was to last until 1982.

From later 1982 until 1983 Rod was to spend a year in HMAS Orion. From that point Rod spent the following five years ashore away from boats. His last call to sea was in 1988 when he joined HMS Otama for one year.

After 1989 Rod’s time in the Navy is vague, however he eventually retired from full time service as a Petty Officer MTP3SM.

Rod involvement with the navy did not end with his retirement, Rod continued to impart with his valuable knowledge as the head of a Navy Cadet unit in Sydney.

Rod had been a member several times in the Association, the last time he rejoined was in June 1995.        

Peter Smith, National Secretary SAA.

Farewell Rod, I am sure the Snorkel God has a tot or two waiting for you and I know the job in his ERUS is yours for the taking, Harry Carey is your new Chief Stoker and he will look after you.  Good bye mate!

Rod's funeral is to be held on Thursday at 3.30pm, at Castlebrook Crematorium, Windsor Rd, Rouse Hill. Following at Parramatta RSL on conclusion.  Donations to the Red Cross in lieu of flowers would be greatly appreciated. At the funeral there will be a facility for donations.

"When one cries, we all cry"

Looking For..........

• Peter Smith, National Secretary of the SAA reports that the following have strayed and requests that they contact him by email or fax 02 9557 1488 so that he can update the Associations records:  RW Anderson, RL Lane, M Barnes, SP Godbold, RB Dening, H James, M Greenway, W Holyoake, KN Rylands, AS Osborne, LG Muir, DC Nichols, WS Sim and WD Smith.

• The following addressees are having their email bounced.  If you are on this list and want to be included in Up Periscope's mailing list please contact me by email.

  Adrian Needham	adrianneedham@ozemail.com.au	Ian MacKenzie	iamcken@bigpond.net.au
  Athena , Robert Fayers	crow@easynet.net.au	Kevin Farr	kfarr@bigpond.net.au
  Bill Trigge	elbert@ausinfo.com.au	Pedro Pedersen	mickp17@bigpond.com
  Bob Blue Walker	walksbp@chariot.net
  Chris Cobb	orchids@curl.com.au	Ray Louth	swivel@dodo.com.au
  Cian Connor	cianconn@bigpond.net.au	Richard Gough	rjgough3@aol7.com.au
  Colin Walker	jcwalker@iprimus.com.au	Rixon, Peter (DPS)	peter.rixon@aph.gov.au
  		Robert Bretherton	brethos@iprimus.com.au
  Damian McLean	damian.mclean@bigpond.com	Robert Sprigg	mdsprigg@ozemail.com.au
  Dave Harrison	pottingfield@senet.com.au	Rod Curtis	curtis8@bigpond.com
  David Fulton	david_fulton7@hotmail.com
  David Simmons	davidsimmons58@optusnet.com.au
  Doug Manners	dtman@optusnet.com.au	Stuart Grant	stugrant@westernpower.com.au
  Ed Horridge	edhorridge@powerup.com.au
  Geoff Callaghan	callahoonies@bigpond.com	Trevor Carter	trevor.carter@newmont.com
  Glenn Downes	glenn.downes@defence.gov.au	Wayne Bennett	wayne.bennett1@defence.gov.au