Around the Traps

SUBCON 2008
The effort of all those involved in the Walk for Kids is to be commended and I urge all those that can meet up with the party as it goes through your area are requested to do so.  This is a worthy cause and deserves all the support that we can give.  Dig deep!

The Agendas and Motions for the National Committee and Annual General meetings and Nominations for the election of Executive Officers have been promulgated by Peter Smith, the Association's Honorary National Secretary.

The nominations are:
From Queensland Branch - Norm Williams for Secretary

From NSW Branch - David Sandquest for President
Max Hardy for Vice President
Peter Smith for Secretary
John Rana for Treasurer

From WA Branch John Rana for Treasurer

ARE YOU FINANCIAL - 2008 SAA SUBSCRIPTIONS NOW OVERDUE - LIST AT BOTTOM OF THIS WEEK'S ENTRY - INFORM OTHERS THAT YOU KNOW!!!

Branch News

WA Branch: President Fred Lawrence has sent a copy of the Recruiting Document sent in to the FEG for distribution and for the Trade. It is good to see that an effort to get today's submariners interested in our Association.  I tried while in the West and I produced a brochure that was often sent to the FEG and the boats, but little interest is shown, we are dealing with a different generation and unless we can offer them something other than the social aspect of membership, the battle will be long and hard.

South Australia: The AGM of the Submarines Association Australia, SA Branch is to be held at the Port Adelaide Naval Association, Quebec St, Port Adelaide, on Sunday 25th May, commencing at 1230 (for a 1300 start). members are requested to bring along some "Smally Eats", and a bottle of something alcoholic to contribute to the raffle.  Spouses/Partners and family are most welcome.  Nominees for Executive Positions (President, Secretary, Treasurer, and Committee Members) are to be emailed to David by COB Friday 23rd May. Nominations will be proposed and seconded at the meeting. Agenda Items to David by COB Wednesday 21st May.  The Minutes of the last AGM (2007) are available from Dave Bryant on request.

New South Wales: A Branch General Meeting will be held on 25th May 2008 at 11:30am on 25 May at the City of Sydney RSL we will be holding our last general meeting before SUBCON in June and the Branch AGM on 13 July. This meeting is important for the future of the Branch as we need to consider the make up of the Executive over the next twelve months. Secretary Ken Williams will email out a copy of the minutes of the last meeting prior to 25/5 along with an agenda.  The latest NSW Branch newsletter is now online.

Treasurer:  $40 for renewal of Membership was received by Direct Credit on the 7/8/07, drawn on the Northern Inland Credit Union, NSW. Unfortunately no name was included and therefore the depositor has not had his membership updated. If it was YOU please notify John Rana.

Mailbag

Our man in Tonga Adrian Jallands writes "Some more news from the Kingdom. Dave Perry came to Tonga last Friday (16 May) and departed on Saturday (17 May). I managed to get him an invite to the Royal Nuku'alofa Clubs 94 Birthday bash ( Quick raid of the closet got him the right gear). We even managed to get an audience with the King that night, not bad for a guy who was only in Tonga for 26 hours!!!!.  As you can imagine a good night was had by all, Dave and I were both impressed with His Majesty's knowledge of Submarines especially the Oberons. We had a good talk about boats, so a memorable evening for both Dave and myself. The King's Royal Hound a fox terrier called Pip wanted to part of the evening as well so Dave obliged!!!. Dave reckons he will be back here again in Jul/Aug for the coronation so no doubt a few more beers will be consumed then. Just goes to prove submariners will turn up anywhere and anytime."  Why didn't I get a draft like this??? 

LCDR David Strangward, the Weapons Electrical Engineer Officer on HMAS Ballarat wrote "I read with interest your ANZAC Day articles on the Log. I notice CPO Jallands in Tonga and noting that we are going there soon I would like to make contact to sort out some social arrangements for the meeting.  The last time I was in Tonga was on Otway, Pre-SWUP and Peter Horibin drove us there as our CO was off in the States doing the first Harpoon course, Tom Johnson was CPO Stoker, Jim McCarthy was CSAW.  If you could put me in touch with our SM CPO in Tonga that would be very much appreciated." I have warned Adrian that Dave is on the way and to hide his drinks cupboard keys.

Lloyd Blake reports that WA Member Peter Ray made a half page story in the West Australian this week, regarding his donating blood. Quite an achievement. He added "Having read Peter’s story in the paper – we then see him take prime place in evening TV – same story. Better news than watching the budget eh."  Peter lost his arm in a car crash in1970 - car rolled over in HMS Dolphin. Peter, a Tiffy, was doing SM Training but as a result of the accident was unable to complete it.  Peter is a very active volunteer and acts as a tour guide in Kings Park and at the WA Maritime Museum on Ovens.

John (Bungy) Williams and wife Pam have just returned from his Caribbean holiday, where he says he was buying Pussers Rum at $10.00 a bottle. He included a couple of photo's to prove it.  The late Nick Carter would have been in his element.

Peter Smith reports "I bought a racehorse this week. I've decided to call him "MyFace". I don't care if he never wins a race or makes me any money.  I just want to hear thousands of those posh tarts at Flemington calling out "Come On MyFace"

Early last year I made contact with an ex USN submariner that had moved to Western Australia. Bill Cronin was married to a local lass and wanted to settle down.  He is seeking help. He writes "Not sure if you remember me, however we exchanged emails back in Jan 07. I finished a 27 year U.S. Navy Career back in late 2006 to rejoin my Aussie bride and four girls and was at the time looking for a job. I spent about 9 months back in Perth working as a Manager at the Hyatt Regency Perth before taking a job with a DOD Army Security Contractor over here in Iraq. Presently I am serving in Iraq as a civilian contractor at Tallil Air Base out side of An Nasiriyah.  I have been back over here since October last year and I am still interested in working in Perth. My wife and children are there and we are building a home in Carramar. I have lots of US Navy experience, 20 years in Submarines and 7 years everywhere else. I was curious as to if you had any information for a US Submariner who is desperately trying to re-unite with my family. I have my Australian permanent residency. Really want to get into the mines but I think you have to know someone first. Just tired of the whole IRAQ WAR...   Shipmate any and all assistance is greatly appreciated."    If you have any leads or advice that may help get Bill a job in WA, please contact him.

John Goss has been flat out running the RAN Sea Cadets and I missed a chance of catching up with him recently.  He wrote "As seems to be happening too often with things I should note - I missed the fact you had moved to QLD until I spent some time with Pee Wee the day before ANZAC Day. He's CO of the Cadet Unit in Caloundra. I do have units around you in Maryborough, Tin Can Bay and further south.   The news letter of March finally woke me up, particularly when I read the news concerning Rod Laver's passing on. Picked up the phone and called the Call Centre (Sick Bay?). Not that I think I have any concerns but who does until it's too late. Bugger - too many passing on."  John is based at HMAS Cerberus and who knows, one day he may visit a unit near you.

I have had a request to find out the burial place of LSEMSM TJ Weatherall (Admiral) at Rookwood Sydney. Other avenues have been tried with no success. Even if we could find the religion that would help. It was a naval funeral (HMAS Watson) so you would think there would be some records, but unfortunately not. If you can help in any way it would be appreciated.

Dan Jordan reports a new EEC standard that may cause a stir.  In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a penny" is not to be used after 31st May 2008.  From this date, the correct terminology will be: "Euronating".

Garry Coombe put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and sent the following anecdotes.

Otway arrived at HMNZS Philomel for a port visit to Auckland and a representative of Commodore Auckland (COMAUCK) came on board to tell us what we could and could not do. Amongst the many do nots was a warning to never attempt to souvenier COMAUCK’s ceremonial life ring as it was protected by “the best security in the South Pacific.” The following morning the representative returned to tell us that the life ring had been souvenired the previous evening and he, and COMAUCK, believed that a person or persons from Otway was responsible for the said purloining. In an endeavour to retrieve the life ring he was accompanied by several rather large Kiwi sailors and presented a request (demand?) to the captain to search the submarine. Despite such logical indications that the life ring would not fit down the hatch or there was nowhere on board for such an item to be secreted, the representative (and COMAUCK) was adamant. A search must be conducted.

The CO quickly contacted the XO and coxswain and, assured that no-one from the crew would commit such a dastardly act, somewhat reluctantly gave the official okey-dokey for the search to proceed. After several hours of crawling into small spaces, peering into nooks and crannies and even doing a casing crawl, no life ring was found. A very indignant representative departed with his sailors, ignoring polite requests for an apology and a guarantee that the Kiwi ships alongside would also be searched.

We sailed from Auckland the following morning in a pall of indignation that we had been singled out as the culprit, but righteous in our hearts that we had been exonerated by none other than the representative of COMAUCK. As we turned north into the Hauraki Gulf the CO descended from the bridge to see COMAUCK’s ceremonial life ring resting against the CEP! (Remember, this was pre SWUP days).  That life ring decorated the junior sailor’s bar at Platypus for many years.

Which leads me to inquire as to the fate of the many souvenirs that were displayed in the messes and corridors at Platypus?

Shorty Carroll was one of the real characters of the Squadron, and he managed to get himself into many a scrape. We were alongside the submarine base at Pearl Harbor and Shorty was quite taken by the decorative brass diving helmets mounted on pedestals at the entrance to the escape tank. Every morning the sailors from the tank staff polished the helmets to a gleaming shine and, every time we walked past them, Shorty got a wistful look in his eyes.

I was on trot one evening when I heard a commotion at the far end of the wharf and then the night air was pierced by the shrill of an alarm. Around the corner of the building came Shorty, running as fast as he could along the wharf, up the gangway and down the accommodation space hatch. A moment later several SP’s came hotfooting it along the wharf and stopped at the gangway.

“You see anyone run past here in the past few minutes?”

“No” I said quite truthfully. Shorty had not run past, he had run on board.

The SPs trotted off along the wharf towards the Beeman Centre.

When I came off trot Shorty was wedged into the rear of a bottom bunk, behind the formica.

I told him the SPs had gone and he eased himself out of the bunk, a large bunch of Allen keys in his hand. He looked at me and burst into that laugh of his and said “I didn’t know the bloody helmet was attached to an alarm!”

Evidently the helmets were quite an attractive item and the tank staff had them connected to an alarm to prevent “souvenier hunters” from taking them.

ORDER NOW FOR SUBCON - CANBERRA IS COLD!!! Long Line Jacket - $60.00 pp The Long Line Jacket has been revamped. Now a micro fibre outer, micro fleece lining, creating a perfect warm wind block! Hood hidden in collar, drawstring waist. A much smarter fashionable jacket and still at last years price. Vest - Polar fleece lined A micro fibre outer lined with polar fleece fabric in a most popular colour combination. A great buy at $40 pp. Items embroidered with the Submarines Australia logo (without by request). Visit the Slops Van now. Baseball caps with logo - special price $15.000 plus postage.

Garry Coombe has also been researching the operations of British submarines in the Mediterranean for an ongoing project and, while going through a now declassified official publication, came across a few amusing situations he thought may tickle our fancy.

HMS Seraph had conveyed General Mark Clark of the US Army to Churchill Point in Algeria for discussions with French agents prior to the Allied landings in North Africa, and recovered the general on 23 October, despite rough surf and the presence of the enemy, and headed out to sea.

General Clark, grateful to the submarine’s captain, Lieutenant Norman “Billy” Jewell, asked "Doesn't the Royal Navy have rum aboard?"  "Yes, sir, but only for emergencies." Replied Jewell

"Well, I think this is one. How about a double rum ration for all hands?" said Clarke. "Yes, sir, but someone of rank will have to sign the order" replied Jewell.

"Will I do?" Clark asked.  He did, he signed the order, and the crew splices the main-brace.

HMS Seraph, under the command of Lieutenant Norman “Billy” Jewell, RN, was dispatched to southern France to embark General Henri Giraud and his staff and convey them to safety in an attempt to gain French support in North Africa. As it was thought at this time that the United States could exercise a more favourable influence on the French, the operation should have as strong an American flavour as possible.  Seraph carried out the operation on the night of 5/6 November 1942 flying United States colours and with Captain Jerauld Wright, USN, on board as nominal commanding officer.  Wright was not a submariner and may have experienced some difficulty in carrying out the full duties of a submarine captain if called upon to do so.

When HMS P212/Sahib torpedoed and sank the 1,580-tons Italian transport Scillin, bound for Trapani from Tripoli with 810 British prisoners-of-war and 200 Italian troops on board, a call was made from the bridge of the submarine “Are there any Englishmen in the water?” The reply was “No, but there is a Scotsman.”

HMS Taku, under the command of Lieutenant Arthur Pitt, landed several Greek agents at Skiathos in Greece on 20 December 1942. Following the covert operation Pitt then bombarded Port Kumi on the Kassandra Peninsula in Greece, hits being observed on several caiques, a small merchant ship and warehouses. Later that day Pitt received a signal from Captain (S) One saying that the submarine may have been sighted. Pitt replied “We were – by a lot of people!”

While on patrol in the Gulf of Lyons HMS Trespasser, under the command of Lieutenant Richard Molyneux Favell, RN, sighted a suspicious vessel and fired three torpedoes at the target. It turned out to be a dead whale – and the torpedoes missed the target!

Sandy Freeleagus notes "Reference the Log article on the Chinese SSBN in an underground sub base. Glad I read and saw that it was OUTSIDE the underground base as I though the reconnaissance satellite was in a bloody low orbit to see inside an underground base. Got to admit - I'm pretty switched on for a Greenie."  And I thought ALL greenies were supermen......

Victorian President Mike Bennett reports another member of the UK Submariners Association has “Crossed the Bar on his Last Patrol”.  EWP (Peter) Adams (ex PO.2nd Coxn) died in New Zealand, age 91. Submarine Service: 1941-1945. Served in:-H32 Surcouf Unbeaten Talisman Tribune Thorn Turbulent Unseen Unison.

Health Matters
MSG (a slow poison)………MSG The food additive MSG (Mono-Sodium Glutamate) is a slow poison.  MSG hides behind 25 or more names, such as Natural Flavoring.'  MSG is even in your favorite coffee from Tim Horton's and  Starbucks coffee shops!

In hundreds of studies around the world, scientists were creating obese mice and rats to use in diet or diabetes test studies. No strain of rat or mice is naturally obese, so scientists have to create them. They make these creatures morbidly obese by injecting them with MSG when they are first born.

The MSG triples the amount of insulin the pancreas creates, causing rats (and perhaps humans) to become obese. They even have a name for the fat rodents they create: 'MSG-Treated Rats.'

Go into your kitchen and check the cupboards and the refrigerator, MSG is in everything. The items that didn't have MSG marked on the product label had something called 'Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein,' which is just another name for Monosodium Glutamate. MSG is hidden under many different names in order to fool those who read the ingredient list, so that they don't catch on.

So why is MSG in so many of the foods we eat? Is it a preservative, or a vitamin?

In his book The Slow Poisoning of America, John Erb said that MSG is added to food for the addictive effect it has on the human body. Even the propaganda website sponsored by the food manufacturers lobby group supporting MSG explains that the reason they add it to food is to make people eat more.

A study of the elderly showed that older people eat more of the foods that it is added to. The Glutamate Association lobbying group says eating more is a benefit to the elderly, but what does it do to the rest of us? 'Betcha can't eat [just] one,' takes on a whole new meaning where MSG is concerned! And we wonder why the nation is overweight!

MSG manufacturers themselves admit that it addicts people to their products. It makes people choose their product over others, and makes people eat more of it than they would if MSG wasn't added. Not only is MSG scientifically proven to cause obesity, it is an addictive substance. Since its introduction into the American food supply fifty years ago, MSG has been added in larger and larger doses to the pre-packaged meals, soups, snacks, and fast foods we are tempted to eat everyday.

Many of the studies mentioned in John Erb's book link MSG to diabetes, migraines and headaches, autism, ADHD, and even Alzheimer's..

If you are one of the few who can still believe that MSG is good for us and you don't believe what John Erb has to say, see for yourself. Go to the National Library of Medicine at www.pubmed.com. Type in the words 'MSG Obese' and read a few of the 115 medical studies that appear.

We the public do not want to be rats in one giant experiment, and we do not approve of food that makes us into a nation of obese, lethargic, addicted sheep, feeding the food industry's bottom line while waiting for the heart transplant, the diabetic-induced amputation, blindness, or other obesity-induced, life-threatening disorders.

With your help we can put an end to this poison. Do your part in sending this message out by word of mouth, e-mail, or by distribution of this printout to your friends all over the world and stop this 'Slow Poisoning of Mankind' by the packaged food industry.

Blowing the whistle on MSG is our responsibility, so get the word out.

Navy News Online
This week's edition includes:  • HMAS Sydney II commemorative edition featuring a four-page wrap-around looking at the two major services recently held to mark its loss during WWII. • Navy’s involvement in Anzac Day services around the country and around the globe. • Changes to the psych screening process for personnel going on deployment. • Junior sailors are settling into new high quality apartments in Homebush, NSW. • HMAS Arunta’s last patrol in The Gulf before returning to Australia Click on the front cover to read the latest edition.   Follow this link http://digital.realviewtechnologies.com/?xml=defencenews_navy.xml.

Adam McCarthy and his partner Olga are owners of a bedding shop called the Bed Spot and are more than happy to give a 15% discount to all SAA members who mention that they are ex-submariners upon coming into the shop at 376 Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, or call Adam on 9388 0027. Adam believes 'size does matter'!

Who said that there was no kouth in Queensland, an article in the Bauple Times, my local rag, identified the top 10 pick up lines in the Shire.  They are:

• Did you fart? - cuz you blew me away.

• Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

• My Love fer you is like diarrhea. - I can't hold it in.

• Is there a mirror in yer pants? - cuz I can see myself in em.

• You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

• I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

• I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? - I think he went into this cheap motel room.

• Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

• If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

• Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

RN Nuke Sub Hit Iceberg
An RN nuclear-powered submarine hit a massive iceberg during an exercise in the Arctic, the Ministry of Defence admitted this week.  HMS Tireless suffered ballast tank damage in the 2003 crash. It happened 206ft below the surface. Details were only released at the weekend under the Freedom of Information Act.  Former Cornish MP Lord Paul Tyler said the story had been "buried by Tony Blair's spin doctors".

Raytheon Proves Advanced Anti-Submarine Capability with Successful Flight Test
Raytheon Company has entered the U.S. Navy's High Altitude Anti-Submarine Warfare Weapons Concept (HAAWC) competition, successfully demonstrating a new weapon system -- the Fish Hawk -- March 21 at the Eglin flight demonstration range in the Gulf of Mexico.

The Fish Hawk is a kit that attaches to Raytheon's MK54 lightweight torpedo and enables submarine-hunting aircraft like the P-8 Multi Mission Maritime Aircraft and P-3 Orion to precisely deploy torpedoes from high altitudes while standing off a safe distance from a target.

During the March demonstration, an aircraft flying at 15,000 feet jettisoned a Fish Hawk-equipped dummy torpedo. The Fish Hawk's wings rapidly deployed and the weapon system then glided more than 10 nautical miles, splashing down well within the small target area and achieving all primary test objectives.

The kit is composed of wings that deploy after the system is released from an aircraft, a control section and a Global Positioning System-Inertial Navigation System precision guidance system. The kit is designed to enable both the P-3 and P-8 to maximize loadout by deploying the system from the aircraft bomb bay.

Fish Hawk offers new capabilities that will enable aircraft to launch from higher altitudes and thus enhance survivability. The system also provides longer time on station thanks to reduced fuel consumption. Additionally, Fish Hawk reduces airframe stress because the aircraft is no longer required to dive down to the target in order to deploy an anti-submarine torpedo.

Profound!

• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

• If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

• If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?

And that's your lot for this week, come on Boof, it's medication time again ...........

Sunday, 11^th MAY 2008

Back at home again after another stint getting prodded and pushed by every trainee medical student in Queensland I still feel like a pile of crap.  It seems that I have have confused medical science and am waiting for results of tests.  Thanks to all those that sent 'get wells', no need to get the suit dry cleaned 'in case'.

My inbox is overflowing and I will try and answer/action them all as soon as possible.  Hopefully this week's Log will be a bit more interesting than last weeks.

Around the Traps

President's notes
The effort of all those involved in the Walk for Kids is to be commended and I urge all those that can meet up with the party as it goes through your area are requested to do so.  This is a worthy cause and deserves all the support that we can give.  Dig deep!

Branch News

Queensland: Secretary Rob Woolrych advises that the Branch meeting is still on for 11/12th October 2008 at Stanthorpe and for anyone that resides in the areas of Northern NSW this is the ideal time for you to come and join us for a little experience of Queensland “Kooth & Kulture”. Rob said "I journeyed through Stanthorpe a couple of days ago and saw “THE MAN” taking us on the winery trip. He has assured me we will be well catered for. We have not yet decided whether it will be 1 or 2 buses that will depend on those people who have said they are coming, actually confirming same and booking their accommodation. At this time I have 34 couples who have registered that they are going to be in Stanthorpe for the Meeting and are interested in the wine tour."

Western Australia:
Fred Lawrence, WA Branch President, writes "At 1030 on Sunday 25th of May, the City Of Albany is conducting a  memorial service at the Princess Royal Fortress on Mount Adelaide, in memory of the USN crews and boats lost during WW2. This is an annua event, originally sponsored by the WA Branch of the USSUBVETS Association. Sadly the ravages of time are exacting its toll on the membership, with there only being one surviving veteran (Mr Carl Uphoff) in this state. The association is being kept alive by Mrs Kath Pouleris (the secretary) and other widows. An Australian associate member, Mr Arthur Bancroft attends regularly. Arthur, who survived the sinking of HMAS Perth, was rescued by a US Submarine after the POW transport ship which was taking him to Japan was sunk by another US Submarine.

The WA Branch of the Association along with our RN contemporaries have been supporting this event for more than 25 years and attendance by each association has slowly increased in recent years. During the past four years both Associations have elected to stay at the Le Grande Motel in Albany, holding an informal dinner there on the Saturday night prior to the service. Jointly we have hosted the veterans and veteran’s widows and I hope that we will do the same this year. Attending the dinner this year will be Commodore Shalders CSC RAN, Commander Mack USN, the President of the Albany RSL Sub Branch, the President of the Naval  Association Sub Branch and the CO of TS Vancouver and their wives/partners. Hopefully two USN Submariners currently posted to the Squadron will also be in attendance.

Commodore Shalders and Captain Davies have assured me that this service will continue to be part of  their annual program and I would urge all members to consider it a part of our Association program also. I would encourage you to show your support and come to Albany for the weekend."

Mailbag

Phil Solomon's life is returning to some semblance of reality after the storms earlier this year and he reports  "G'Day all, just a short one to let you know that I am back at home and on-line again. Of course the two to three week builder's estimate for renovating my house after the flood turned into a 6 week affair ... it's the tropics and we can't rush too much can we!! Anyway house looks like new inside, the new fridge keeps the rum and coke well cold and even makes heaps of ice for me .... can't get any better than that. Now if I can just get the spa going again and the hammock hung up, life will be almost perfect again. Cheers from the soon to be renovated hammock, Phil Solomon in now dry Airlie Beach, Whitsundays."

Last week Henry Thompson reported that he was crook and would not be able to attend the "Gdynia Congress" which sounded like a venereal disease. Henry has set me straight "I have been attending the International Submarine Association Congress since 2003. This year it is in Poland. BUT my doc say NO!! Not fit to travel!!  Suffice it to say, there be an "Ovens" crest in the main dining room of the Mercure hotel Cherbourg! Mayor of Cherbourg has "Otama" crest. Will be in touch Mate; building my strength for San Diego next year!  Mind yer bubble."   The International Submariners Association (ISA) is holding the 45th International Submariners Congress, in Gdynia, Pomorskie, Poland this year. Submariners from at least 20 nations of submariners, those being at present, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belarus, Chile, Czech Republic, France, Great Britain, Greece, Germany, Israel, Italy, Kazakhstan, Norway, Peru, Russia, Ukraine, USA and Turkey are expected to attend.

Next years the ISA Conference will be held in United States of America  and ISA-USA extend an invitation to fellow submariners and their guests from all corners of the world to attend the gala 2009 46th Congress, September 7 - 12, 2009. The 46th Congress is being held in conjunction with the United States Submarine Veterans Incorporated National Convention in the beautiful port city of San Diego. Now that's a conference I may attend, anyone else interested please contact me.

Steve (Windy) Hills (ex LSMTP) said "Being a skimmer I only ever heard rumours about you blokes lik'n to play dress up's, until I ran into Dicko in Kanchanaburi Thailand on Anzac Day.  I sprung him at a footy match on the following Saturday "in rig" when he was part of the 1/2 time entertainment. I'm only glad they didn't kick their legs up as high as the girlies at the Rugby League games! PS. I hate to admit it being a skimmer but Dicko and his opo's are top blokes but he might give the forendies the shits with that drum if he ever gets back to boats!!!"  The complete set of photos are available on the 2008 ANZAC Day album. 

Gus Mellon asks "A mate of mine has asked me if I can find out what are the major dimensions and profile of a submarine's bell. Could you ask the members if they can help with this one. It is such an odd request that I am sure some one amongst our membership will be able to help him out!!!! A drawing would be nice, but even a good photograph and at least one dimension (plus/minus an inch!!) would probably do. Would you mind asking the mob what they can do for me?"

Mick Barnes writes "Hope all is well, and that everyone had a memorable ANZAC Day? I currently reside onboard my boat in Gladstone harbour. She is a 43ft motor sailer called the Calliope. I just can't seem to get the water out of my system. It's good to be in charge of a vessel of this size by myself, just wake up, look outside, let the ropes go, and head out to the reef. She's a very sea worthy boat. Looking forward to heading out to New Cal, Fiji, Solomons etc in a year or two. This is my idea of semi retirement...lol."

Ian Mansfield wrote "I saw in the Log today that you said you missed the ABC documentary on the AE2. If you follow the link below you can watch it and/or download it online. Also there are some extra bits and pieces that didn't make it to the final cut for TV. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/geo/documentaries/interactive/submarine/

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.  While on the operating table she had a near death experience.  Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"  God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.  After her last operation, she was released from the hospital While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't bloody recognize you."

A film is being made for the UK Submariners Association and I have been advised that the the first copies will be rolling off the presses by mid-late June.  As Australia has a different DVD format the producers are considering making copies available through the Slops Van in our format. All you Poms out there, watch this space.

Les Rawson has put pen to paper and responded to an article in last week's Log. "Hmmm! I would protest with almost virginal innocence at the outrageous story which this otherwise erstwhile publication published as a factual account provided by Garry Coombe - until I remembered the story was almost 100% correct.

The whole incident was the result of Henry Thompson. The CO had been approached by the Tongan customs service to try and fix the radar on their launch. Since Henry had been around since before steam had been invented, he won the job of cleaning up the valves which operated this radar - unsuccessfully! Not Henry's fault as the radar had been built before handbooks were invented and most of the inside was salt corroded. Anyway, the Customs officer who ran the launch wasn't too phased and had been having a beer with us at the Dateline when he told us he was a village Chief, and if we supplied some beer, he would lay on a pig.

He was definitely a Chief as back in his village he was ordering Palace Guardsmen (later the Tongan Army) around and generally making us welcome. What a night, fresh killed pig cooked in the ground and gallons of beer. Now this is where Garry's memory fails; in the course of admiring the domestic facilities I was overcome with an inherited disease which causes me to fall asleep (when excess alcohol is administered). I was woken the following morning by a chicken sitting on my chest and the Customs officers kids getting ready for school. I got a lift back to the Dateline with the Customs officer, where I was presented with a roomful of hungover corpses who were arguing as to whether they should eat breakfast with their beer in cans or were glasses more appropriate!

Bloody RPs, no wonder they got rid of them with memories like that!

Les followed up with "Since Garry Coombe (ex-under worked and overpaid Nav Yeo) made a valiant effort to besmirch the name of an overworked and underpaid member of the elite communications and sanitary workers guild, I have no compunction in telling equally outrageous tales about him - except I can't remember any apart from when he ran out of gangway alongside in Geelong. That's his for the telling.

His story triggered a movement in my memory of a trip to Brisbane around the same time as the Tonga tale. The Junior Sailors had been booked into a 'round' motel and got an inkling of problems the moment they arrived. The manager 'mustered' the troops and welcomed them, stating that whilst they were staying in his motel he could be regarded as their 'Commanding Officer'. There were few responses as everyone was 'uhhhh?'

We were then informed we, unlike other guests, had a set menu and would be fed in a curtained off area of the dining room. Apparently NOICQLD didn't like submariners (what's to dislike?) and as he was 'personally paying for our food and accommodation' he was cost cutting to a minimum - he was actually being an arse-hole. What I don't think NOICQLD or the manager realised was that submariners retaliate, and can be subtle about it.

Anyway, some of his staff were ok and things weren't too bad except for the permanent guest in the lobby reading a newspaper with holes cut in it.....a POWRAN from CPSO on covert surveillance of the troops. I think she had a wig and sunnies as well, so her presence wasn't really that noticeable - not!

After the first day the troops had had enough of crap food and belligerence of restaurant staff who wouldn't even accept orders from the main menu if we were willing to pay. Someone contacted the Jimmy and he sent a young Subby (doing submarine experience) over to investigate. He was immediately filled to the brim with alcohol and taken on run ashore and eventually dumped at the motel the wardroom were staying at with no memory of what he had found out, his own name, he mummy's name or where he had been.

The weekend never really improved as just about everyone who made it back to the motel at night was given the third degree by the manager, photographed, finger printed and breath tested (well, almost) and details relayed to the covert WRAN. Until the morning we were checking out. The wardroom had come over to our hotel so the WRAN driving the pussers bus had only one pick-up point, but she was late, we had emptied the fridges so an impromptu cocktail party commenced in the lobby immediately after breakfast. I think the covert WRAN broke her wrist writing down all the details.

Then, the shit hit the fan! The manager charged in abusing us and wanting to know who was using three parking bays for one vehicle? Actually the vehicle was a front end loader which a person who shall remain anonymous had had to hijack to get back from the other side of Brisbane when cabs wouldn't pick up him or his very sick friend as the scurrilous Brisbane cabbies had outrageously suggested they were drunk..!!! I'm not sure, but I seem to remember they had hot-wired the loader, and on arrival at the motel, had 'disabled' it so it was stuck right outside the main entrance.

I think NOICQLD sent a very uncomplimentary minute to FHQ and Capt SM but I don't recall any fallout!"

In response to receiving a birthday greeting last week Dan Jordan responded "Thanks very much for the card although after the first seventy BDs there is a tendency to try and forget them.  I'm still plugging away with attempts to master the art of web sites and working on one for S/M 4. The reunion last year stirred a lot of memories from my time with the Squadron, 41 years ago it closed shop. Pat Cullum enjoyed it so much I understand he is trying to organize another for this year, about October. Good idea I reckon although the numbers must be slowly dwindling away, a sobering thought. Penguin certainly put out the welcome home carpet last year and I thought the naming of the roads at the base after the ten 'boats' was a great way of placing the 4th Squadron in history for the RAN and RN . The plaque and memorial are great and just inside the main gate."

The three Dolls in a man's life are:

• His Daughter, 'Baby doll'

• His Girlfriend, 'Barbie doll'

• His Wife, 'Panadol '.

I am looking for information on a John McDonald (ex-SM4) who would have served there in 1946.  If you can help please contact me.

Rod & Pat Peters set off to Canada and Alaska on Sunday 4th May, they promised that they will send emails and photos to keep us updated. Rod said "We will be back in time for SUBCON so hope to see you there."

Terry Wyatt has been on the move but has finally returned home for a rest "At home for a few week, have been on the road and air for a month, two funerals a major birthday and ANZAC Day its time to rest, as we fly to UK end of May for a Wedding. ANZAC Day Adelaide was one of the best I have been to. The night before at Port Adelaide little paper boats with a candle in them were launched onto the Port River. First to be put in were the HMAS Sydney , then a boat for every RAN person lost in conflict, a very moving evening but a little long.  Next morning it was back to Port Adelaide Naval Association for Dawn Service, it was there biggest morning they can ever remember, Freddy Butcher laid the SASAA Wreath. After a short break for Breaky, meet the RAN Guard and Band, then taken by SA Transport Buses up into Adelaide for the Main March. So well timed, no sooner fallen in and away we went."

Health Matters
Vicks Vapour Rub
I was raised with Vicks. How come I never knew this? Scientists at the Canada Research Council (who discovered it) aren't sure why. To stop night-time coughing put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime and then cover with socks.

Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about five minutes, and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. This works 100 percent of the time and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition, it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.  The Canada Research Council describe these findings by their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children as compared to alternative therapies like acupressure.   Canada has recently banned the sale of cough medicines to children

This information was sent out by Don Parsons and one response received came from Rick Fishbourne who replied "Onya Titch, I remember I got pissed once when my haemoroids were playing up......went to medicine cabinet and squeezed out a slab and whipped it straight up my freckle.......stupid bastard I thought it was savlon...just as well I was pissed, it only hurt when I laughed........

Skimmer returns to Fleet Base West
The Anzac Class Frigate, HMAS Arunta returns to Fleet Base West today following a six-month deployment to the Middle East. Arunta's return on Mother’s Day will be particularly sweet for the four families who welcomed newborn children during the deployment and for the two mothers returning to their children on this special day.

Commanding Officer of Arunta, CMDR Tim Brown, celebrated his birthday this week and the return home is probably the best present that he could receive.

Tim was born and raised in Brisbane where he read for a Bachelors degree in Mechanical Engineering at the Queensland University of Technology. He joined the RAN in 1990 and studied towards a specialisation in Marine Engineering.

In January 1991, as aSBLT, Tim joined the Australian Submarine Squadron. He saw service on HMAS Orion, his first submarine, in September 1991 and was awarded his 'Dolphins' the following March. He joined HMAS Otway in January 1993 as the Marine Engineer Officer (MEO). He remained in the position until the submarine decommissioned in April the following year.

Aspiring to his own submarine command, which was unprecedented for an engineer officer, Tim qualified as a dual streamed seaman/engineer officer and returned to Orion in August 1994, firstly as the second Navigator and then as the Navigator a few months later. After a South East Asian deployment and circumnavigation of Australia, he posted from Orion to the Submarine Warfare Officer's Course where he was Dux and awarded the Submarine Sword of Excellence. He immediately returned to Orion in November 1995 and again deployed to South East Asia, this time as the submarine's Warfare Officer.

In July 1996 he was posted to the Submarine Executive Officer's Course and subsequently saw service as the Executive Officer HMAS Onslow. It was during this posting that Tim was promoted to LCDR and received his Submarine Command Recommend. In June 1999 he successfully passed the Royal Netherlands Navy Submarine Command Course (Perisher) and returned to Australia to complete the RAN Staff Course, where he was awarded the ANI Medallion for Naval Strategy. Following conversion training for the Collins's Class submarines, Tim was appointed in Command of HMAS Sheean on 24 April 2001-the newest of Australia's submarines at the time.

After his submarine command, Tim was promoted to CMDR and posted to Australia's Maritime Headquarters as the Head of Submarine Operations. In this role he was responsible for all submarine operations, plans, communications and intelligence. Following three years in the job, he then posted as the Head of Submarine Warfare and Training. In April 2006, his career took another direction when he was selected to command the ANZAC class frigate, HMAS Arunta. Tim took up his new command on 12 June 2007 and in the November of that year deployed ARUNTA for operations in the Persian Gulf.

New ASC West Facility in Western Australia.
The new ASC West Facility in Western Australia opened on the 30th March. The new facility represents an amalgamation of three service facilities into one consolidated state-of-the-art submarine support facility at the Australian Marine Complex at Henderson. The facility will allow for the conduct of submarine maintenance and capability enhancements to be conducted in an undercover and modern environment.

The facility is a pivotal milestone for Australia’s submarine community and represents a much needed and significant step forward, delivering a world-class submarine maintenance facility in Western Australia and represents a major step forward in delivering greater capability and availability, while enabling more efficient sustainment and better value for money for the Commonwealth.

The Collins Class submarines have, to date, had to be maintained in very difficult conditions, open to dust, sand and weather. When ASC West becomes fully-operational next year, ASC will be better equipped to respond quickly to Navy requirements. A quicker turnaround time can only result in a better meeting of Navy’s demanding operational requirements for the submarines,” he said.

Visit the AMC website, an interesting venture.

We always hear ‘the rules' From the female side - at last a guy has taken the time to write the guys' side of the story. These are our rules!

•  Men are NOT mind readers.

•  Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

•  Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

•  Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

•  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

•  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

•  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

•  If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

•  If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

•  You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

•  Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

•  Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

•  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

•  If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

•  If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

•  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

•  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

•  Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boxing or racing.

•  I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

•  Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Gallipoli sub to be left on sea floor
Fred Brenchley reported in the SMH that the AE2, which famously breached the treacherous Narrows of the Dardanelles Strait, is to be left in its final resting place in Turkish waters rather than raised and restored.

An expert group set up to advise both the Turkish and Australian governments has recommended that the wreck be left where it sank in May 1915, 72 metres below in the Sea of Marmara, after playing a key role in the Gallipoli landings.  Efforts will be made to conserve the wreck, which is not a war grave, and perhaps retrieve some of the historic artefacts believed to be still aboard.

But the expert group has recommended against options to move the wreck to shallower waters where it could be on public display, or perhaps removed to dry land and restored.

While the decision will disappoint AE2 enthusiasts who wanted the submarine available for public viewing as part of the centenary of Gallipoli commemoration planned for 2015, it is being described by the expert group as a "practical" outcome.

Many factors influenced the decision, including costs and the dangers associated with an unexploded torpedo still aboard the wreck. Preservation in its current site - with perhaps some form of replica shore display to commemorate both AE2 and the Turkish torpedo boat Sultanhisar which holed AE2 before its scuttling - could cost more than $30 million.

Relocation to shallower waters could cost about $80 million, while removal to dry land and restoration would push the cost closer to $100 million.

AE2, one of two submarines bought for the fledgling Australian Navy, created history on the eve of the Gallipoli landings by being the first submarine to crack the Narrows against hostile fire and the first Australian naval vessel to damage an enemy warship. After helping clear the Sea of Marmara of Turkish supply ships for Gallipoli, AE2 was scuttled on May 30, 1915, when it was hit by fire from Sultanhisar at the same time as striking turbulent currents. Commander Dacre Stoker and his crew escaped, to spend the remainder of the war in Turkish POW camps. Four died in captivity.

The wreck was found in 1998, and a marine archaeological assessment last September determined that the hull was in "remarkably good state" with the submarine lying in "a particularly low corrosion environment".

Fred and Elizabeth Brenchley are co-authors of the book, Stoker's Submarine.

China's Underground Submarine Base Scrutinized
Recent satellite imagery shows what appears to be a Type 094 second-generation nuclear ballistic missile submarine at one of the piers of an underground submarine base at Sanya, on China's Hainan Island.  An underground nuclear submarine base on China's Hainan Island is drawing scrutiny from the United States and India.

According to satellite imagery on the Web sites of Jane's Intelligence Review and the Federation of American Scientists, the base has a sea entrance wide enough to allow submarines to enter the underground facilities. The photograph reveals what appears to be a ballistic missile submarine moored to one of the piers outside.

Rumors of a nuclear submarine base had been swirling for a few years. Kurt Campbell, with the Center for a New American Security, says the satellite photographs confirm those suspicions and stoke anxiety in the region about China's strategic capabilities — and its intentions.

The new base is close to vital sea lanes in the South China Sea and Strait of Malacca, which China is determined to protect. The location could give China better access — and dominance — over disputed territories, such as the Parcel Islands and Spratley Islands in the South China Sea. The naval facility will also give China more leverage over Taiwan.

India, which also is developing a "blue water navy" and has a rivalry with China that goes back decades, sees the new Chinese base as a "cause for security concern," according to India's Naval chief, Adm. Sureesh Mehta.

India eyes nuclear submarine technology
India is developing nuclear submarine technology and will soon float global tenders for the construction of six conventional submarines equipped with surface-to-surface missiles, Navy chief Admiral Sureesh Mehta said on Friday.  The submarines for which tenders would be floated could also have vertical missile launch capabilities, Mehta stated.  "The nuclear powered submarines could be equipped either with nuclear or conventional weapons, he said.  The nuclear submarine project was being developed by the Defence Research Development Organisation (DRDO), he added. The DRDO is a network of more than 50 laboratories carrying out research to develop defence technologies.

The Indian Navy at present has 16 submarines in its fleet and is reportedly looking to lease Akula class nuclear powered submarines from Russia.

Come on Boof, time for a nana nap....

Sunday, 4^th MAY 2008

Today's log is brief, I have been turned in for a few days and I feel like a pile of crap, tired and not all that motivated to sit in front of the PC.  Nothing serious, have to go into Brisbane later this week for a few tests, so I may be able to finally look up a few people.

I have come back to a heap of email and I will get around to answering soon.  I have also received plenty of ANZAC Day photos, but again these will have to wait until I can create an album during the week.

Around the Traps

ANZAC Day
Adrian Jallands wrote "Just thought I would send you some pictures (select thumbnails to see full size) of the Dawn Service here in Tonga, about 100 people braved the elements including the Crown Prince, and a very moving service was observed by all. After the Service it was all back to the NZ High Commissioners' Residence for gunfire breakfast. After that it was down to the Royal Nukualofa Club for some Alcoholic refreshments, where we stayed until around 1600, then the wheels fell off and it was home for a much needed safety sleep."  A beauty sleep would have been a good idea too!

Ken Williams, NSW secretary,  reported "I have attached a couple of photo's take on my phone but got all caught up in the day and that ended the pic taking exercise (select thumbnails to see full size). It was a good turn out and the march went very well, the boys (and girls) still can not march.

We mustered at a new location at 9am only to loiter around for the next two hours in and out of the rain. It was noticeable that we were submariners as no one wanted to stay in the showers. Off we went around 11ish with all the hip flasks of rum being emptied some time before we started (next year we bring more). I am not sure if this helped on not. We went off about the course dodging poles and paths past the memorial, eyes left and still out of step. We passed the Legacy ladies "eyes right" which inspired one of the ladies in front of us to write to Wallaby.

			Tonga
			Sydney
			Adelaide
			Holbrook

Dear Sirs,
As you will remember we were marching in front of you on Anzac Day. I found it very moving that you gave the "eyes right" to the Legacy Ladies. It also drew my attention to them as usually I am concentrating on keeping step etc.
Thank you.
Liz Watts
Hon. Sec. Ex WRANS Assoc.

They marched better than us (not hard I know). Dick Smith was in his normal location with his thank you sign and my 4 year old daughter was yelling very loud as we went passed her located opposite the QVB. The end of the march was very well done it just seemed to split up and off everyone went. Big Wal had to leave from here to get to the Redfern march as Dags was waiting for him over yonder. Then to the Strattons Hotel once again.

This is the second year we have been to the Strattons, they give us the upstairs bar and waive the normal booking fee. About 50 or more people came to the Strattons and I got a hard time about my All Blacks tie I was wearing. I ordered lunch when the bistro opened, the food was very good as usual. Rum time came and we got the tot, a toast to the Queen and another for those on eternal patrol. I headed off to find my brother the CD and was very impressed by the number of divers attending the Tattersals Club divers reunion, but you know in your heart they only became divers because they could not become submariners. Anyhow it was a great day had by all and I look forward to next year when we do it again." 

Roger Cooper wrote "ANZAC Day was well attended in Holbrook, from top left John Morgan, John McDonald, Rod Peters, Morrie Jepperson, John (Wacker) Payne, Peter Paffard, Roger Cooper(JJF) Front row Davey Bryan,Mick Birrell, Garry (Roscoe) Ross and Neville (Ally)Coughlin."

I have run out of time today to put up all photos and will have an ANZAC Day album online later next week.