A Kiwi Chief Tiff left the navy to become a farmer. He buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones the vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.  The Chief Tiff doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to show his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him they will stop standing and instead will lie down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The Chief Tiff hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out to the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all standing around, he deducts that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each one twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still standing around. Try again, he tells himself and proceeds to the woods with them. He spends all day banging the sheep and upon returning home. falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out the window. He asks his wife to look and tell if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No" she says. "They're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is honking the horn"

The home of the mock up of HMAS Otway has been struck a severe blow. However,  Holbrook business people are confident the town will keep going despite losing 102 jobs at the Hyne timber mill. To make matters worse the Holbrook bypass, scheduled to be built about 2012, will see many bypass the town.  Submarine Cafe owners Warren and Helen Thompson are pleased at the way HMAS Otway boosts Holbrook’s role as a stopping place. The new submarine exhibition centre has opened and a submarine “control room” in the centre was almost ready.

Eternal Patrol - CPOUW Dave Perkins  
Served on: HMS Solent,  HMS Scythian, HMS Alliance, HMCS Ojibwa & HMCS Onondaga.
Dave Perkins was born (1936) in Oshawa, Ontario and was brought up mostly in that province. In 1954 at the age of seventeen and a half he joined the RCN as an ordinary Seaman and volunteered for service in submarines eighteen months later while serving aboard HMCS Haida. In April 1956 he followed the same route as many of the heroes in his book when he was sent to HMS Dolphin for his training and then served for five years in British Submarines.

During that time he married his English wife Patsy and they had their first of four children before returning to Canada. After a further period in surface ships Dave retuned to submarines and served in Canadian boats until his retirement in 1979 at which time he was a Chief Petty Officer WU (torpedo man).

Dave had a long fascination with naval history which began as a teenager when he was living in Cobourg. Ontario.
After leaving the Navy he began to study Canada's involvement in submarines and was surprised to find that no one else had ever looked into that aspect of Canadian naval history before. It took five years of research before he was ready for this, the first volume of a projected two volume history. A sequel covering the World War Two period and afterwards is planed for the future.

From the material held in the museum library I can tell you that his books include:
"The Canadian Submarine Service in Review" Published in 2000
"The Canadian Submarine Service Historical Statistics Published in 1994
"The Canadian Wartime Submariners" Published in 1994
"Canada's Submariners 1914-1923" Published in 1989

A great loss.
Yours sincerely,
George Malcolmson
Archivist
RN Submarine Museum

DEFENCE MANAGEMENT REVIEW & BUSINESS IMPROVEMENT BOARD
The Australian Government is committed to further enhancing the organisational efficiency, business processes and information management systems in Defence. Two key initiatives - a Defence Management Review and a Defence Business Improvement Board - will examine efficiency and effectiveness across Defence and look specifically at decision making, business and management processes.

The Defence Management Review will run for around six months and will provide their final report directly to the Minister.  The Review will be chaired by Ms Elizabeth Proust, who will be joined by VADM Chris Ritchie RAN (Retd), Mr John Azarias, and Dr Alan Kallir.

The Defence Business Improvement Board will become a permanent board. It will meet three to four times of the remainder of this year and more frequently in 2007, reporting to the CDF and the Secretary, and through them to me. Mr Barry Cusack, Chairman of Oxiana has agreed to chair the Board.  Other external members will be Mr Jock Murray, Director Investa; Ms Vanessa Fanning, from the International Air Services Commission; and Mr Les Cupper, Group Executive People Services, Commonwealth Bank of Australia.  They will be joined by Mr Phillip Prior Defence's Chief Finance Officer, Mr Martin Bowles, Deputy Secretary, Defence Support (designate), AVM John Monaghan, Chief Information Officer and AVM Chris Spence, Commander Joint Logistics.

THE 2005 DEFENCE ATTITUDE SURVEY SHOWS POSITIVE TRENDS
Defence has released a summary of the latest Defence Attitude Survey findings. The 2005 survey is the sixth to have been conducted since attitudinal data was first collected in 1999. The survey information will be used by Defence to develop workforce policies, management procedures and conditions of service.

Since 2001, the proportion of ADF personnel who believe that their promotion prospects are good has risen noticeably (Navy by 6%, Army by 14%, Air Force by 15%). Satisfaction with the promotion system has increased by 6% for Army and 9% for Air Force. (Is this because of the numbers leaving the forces?) Confidence in senior leadership within Defence has risen by 18% for Navy, 14% for Army, 31%, for Air Force and 17% for civilians. (Up from what?)

Since 1999, the proportion of ADF personnel who believe that they are well-prepared for operational duties has increased by 28% for Navy, 28% for Army and 36% for Air Force. (Up from what?) The Defence Survey does identify a number of areas that need greater attention, including perceptions of work-life balance within Navy and Army in particular. Satisfaction with current salaries has fallen, as have the levels of satisfaction with matters such as individual performance appraisals.

Summary of Results is available for download at: Defence_Attitude_Survey_2005_Summary_of_Results.pdf

ADF AHEAD OF SCHEDULE ON MILITARY JUSTICE REFORM
Defence's reforms to its military justice system are ahead of schedule, with the implementation of 16 recommendations contained in the Government's response to the report on the effectiveness of Australia's military justice system.  At the time of the report, a total of seven full recommendations, and significant elements of a further two recommendations contained in the Government's response to the report on Australia's military justice system had been completed on, or ahead of, the Implementation Plan schedule. Since then, further recommendations have been completed bringing the total to 16.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris.
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.
The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

Reactor for INDIAN nuclear submarine fully operational
The reactor for India's nuclear-powered submarine project at Kalpakkam, near Chennai, is working smoothly at its full capacity of 100 MWe, informed sources said.  The project is called the Advanced Technology Vessel (ATV) programme.  The sources said the reactor, which went critical towards the end of 2004, was fully operational now.  A miniaturised version of the reactor would be built and fitted into the submarine.  Substantial progress has also been made in building the submarine's hull at Visakhapatnam, the sources said.

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old blonde girl. After a year of marriage, she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year the young bride gave birth again. The same nurse said you really are amazing.  How do you do it?" He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."
The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "Well, well, well! You certainly are quite a man!" He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The nurse then said, "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black

New Russian Boomers Stumble
by James Dunnigan
Russia has run into yet more technical problems with its new "Borei Class" of ballistic missile nuclear subs (SSBN, or "boomers"). The launching of the first ship in the class, the Yuri Dolgoruky, has been put off from late this year, to early next year. Construction of the Yuri Dolgoruky began ten years ago, but money shortages, and technical problems, have slowed progress.

The second ship in the class, the Alexander Nevsky, is also nearing completions. Construction on the third, the Vladimir Monomakh, began earlier this year. Russia wants to have about a dozen of these boats, to replace the Delta IV class SSBNs that are currently in service. The Delta IVs are getting old, and have only about a decade of useful service left.

The Borei's are closer in design to the Delta IVs, than to the more recent, and much larger, Typhoon boats. The Boreis are 558 feet long and 44 feet wide. Surface displacement is 15,000 tons, and twelve Bulava SLBMs (Sea Launched Ballistic Missile) will be carried. Work on the Yuri Dolgoruky was delayed for several years because the first missile being designed for it did not work out. A successful land based missile, the Topol-M, was quickly modified for submarine use. The Bulava was a larger missile, cutting the Borei's capacity from twenty to twelve missiles. The boat also has four torpedo tubes, and twelve torpedoes or torpedo tube launched missiles.

The Boreis have a crew of 107, with half of them being officers (a common Russian practice when it comes to high tech ships like nuclear subs). Each of these boats will cost at least two billion dollars. This high cost, by Russian standards, is partly because many factories that supplied parts for Russian subs were in parts of the Soviet Union that are not now within the borders of present day Russia. So new factories had to be built. All components of the Boreis, and their missiles, will be built in Russia. A dozen of these boats probably won't be completed for at least a decade.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of  many."
The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.
 The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

Sunday, 13^th AUGUST 2006

Not much happening and there has been little incoming email of interest so a short entry this week. Come on guys, I need your bits and pieces to try and keep the site interesting.  At least it gives me time to do a bit of tidying up.  The WA Branch are having an online vote on a submission put by he Queensland Branch this week.  The form was put online yesterday and initial responses indicates that it may be a handy tool for future use.

Why is it that a gloomy damp weekend can make you gloomy and dull (I was going to say damp but many of you have dirty minds)  I have started several things but rapidly lost interest. Even Boofy has shown little interest and he is smarter than me, he has spent most of the weekend in his bed, snug as a bug in a rug. Roll on summer......... and retirement.

Congratulations Warriors
The Association congratulates the following officers that graduated last week from the 2006 SM Warfare Officers course.  They were:
LEUT M Drake, RAN
LEUT T Markusson, CF(N)
LEUT M Spearman, CF(N)
LEUT S Blake, RAN
The Dux of the course and winner of the Raytheon Sword of Excellence was LEUT Drake. LEUT  Markusson was runner up and commended for his efforts. All officers have passed an important milestone in their submarine careers.

Buzzes from Trap One
I am glad that someone out there reads this stuff and picks up my deliberate mistakes.  Guy Burton noted "Not sure if anyone else has picked up on this but you (unfortunately) incorrectly put Mike Deeks' and Rick Shalders' post nominals as DSC in the piece about what MD is up to these days. They both have CONSPICUOUS Service Crosses (CSC), not Distinguised Service Crosses (DSC). Once a Staff Officer, always a Staff Officer.............. eye for detail!!!!!" Finger problems Guy, we all know that Mike is not Distinguished. Mind you, Mike's better half  Jenny says "Retirement is good! Have you seen how good Mike is looking lately…he has lost weight and is exercising….I am going to have to smarten myself up, he looks 10 years younger!"

Terry Rowley (WONPCSM) wrote "Keep up the good work mate. Graham Collins (WOUC) and myself will send you our profiles for Buddies in Boats, however, we are finding it hard to attach his Parchment Photo, taken in his former glory." You should talk Terry, I hear  that you have been allocated a naval police sniffer dog, his role is to sniff you every now and then to confirm that you are alive and not napping.

I understand that work on the proposed constitution change is coming on and a draft is taking shape. Let us hope that this long awaited document can be agreed to speedily so that any confusion created by the current version is resolved.

HMS Platypus? Lindsay (Jack) Frost (EX CPONPCSM) writes "I am writing in desperation as there is a question that has me lying awake at nights trying to recall the answer. I was browsing the site and having a read of the article on the history of Platypus. I had a chuckle when reading about the morning ritual of polishing the bell and the platypus, recalling the amount of elbow grease and brasso I expended over the years. I then recalled the bell was actually engraved 'HMS PLATYPUS', not 'HMAS'. After a decade since I last saw it I am wondering if I remember correctly or if senility is setting in early".  I thought that Jack was right, but to confirm it I called upon our historian, Peter Smith. "Hi Jack, Yes you are correct it is stamped HMS not HMAS and I don't think there would be too many submariners ever noticed the difference. There is a reason. Platypus was being built for the RAN as depot ship for our 'E' class submarines. However she was not completed for the journey out with the boats, in fact she wasn't completed until after WW1 started, the Admiralty took over control of the ship and commissioned her into the RN hence the HMS on the bell at the end of the war the ship was handed over to the RAN and came out to Australia with the J class. Regards Peter. "

Allen Story wrote "Hi there Norm, Received my Australian Service Medal today and just wanted to thank you for your help in getting it by publishing the list on up Periscope"

Mike Bennett commented "Thought you might like this…….And watch it with the Chief Tiff jokes. We may gang up on you yet!" Included in the email was a link and I was silly enough to visit it.  Obviously it was no challenge for me, a WO Stoker wityh a Helmsman's certificate but can imagine what a challenge it was to the Tiff.

A member passing through Holbrook has reported that the management of the Holbrook Otway static display is being scuttled by some councilors who now wants to step in and run the display without reference to the committee or those that have put in hours of voluntary work building it and keeping it running now that all the hard work has been done by Jim Redwood, Ian Taber and others.  A dangerous move, without the support of the submarine community the council will soon have a white elephant (or is that a pink submarine) on their hands.

Otama update
Max Byrant of the Westerport Oberon Association reports "I have some good news and some bad news, the good news is that we have secured the site for Otama. The bad news is that the Port controlling body does not want the Interpretation/Museum Centre on the site. The site can not be used for port related industry but they want to keep control of as much as possible in case the policy changes in the next 20 years. With the ever increasing urban sprawl I don't see that ever happening and any development would have to meet the buffer zones requirements so it would not be feasible.

They do suggest however that we build our purpose built building on the adjacent land which is naturally owned by another party. Even if we were able to secure this site it is still in excess of 200 metres from the sub site across a very busy road with a 100kph speed zone. That would make it very interesting crossing the road for our visitors. Not to mention all our service ductwork to run the systems onboard Otama. Trying to run technical services over extended distances is never a good idea, not to mention the costs.  However we are still negotiating the outcome and I do expect that common sense will eventually prevail but dealing with bureaucrats who knows.

Looking for.............
Derek Lilliman has received an e-mail from Tex Golding in the UK, secretary of the Submarine Coxswains Association, enquiring if I knew the whereabouts of an Ex RN Cox’n named Philip Thompson who came out here and joined the RAN. The records Tex has showed he joined the Coxn's Association in 1993 and he served on Valiant (RN) and Otama (RAN).

I am hoping that you may be able to help me find out some info about an Uncle of mine. His name was Robert Cyril Greenway. He had two stints in the RN. Joining first in 1931 as a Ganges boy. Went into signals and served, before the war on the Hood, Centaur, Cairo before trying to join S/M's in'34. Turned down, amazingly but was successful in '37. Served on Sterlet, Trident before starting the war on Taku. The dates show that he would have been on her when she tried to torpedo the Ashanti. Left S/M's after being rated up in '40. Spent the war on a variety of ships. (Oribi, Whitshed, Blencathra and a couple more) Left the RN in '45 and rejoined in '48. Probably a common occurrence for wartime servicemen. Went to S/m's in '50. Served as a Leading Signalman on the Forth and Token. He was spare crew for a while so could have been around the blocks. In late '50 he was rated Yeoman and served on Trump before going to Token. I have lost track of any boats after this date as his service docks ran out of lines. Must have had another boat as he left the RN in '58. He totaled up a good 24 years service during some "interesting" times. His official number was J134320. One interesting entry on his 'docs' shows he was awarded the sum of £6.6.0 on 3rd August '42 from the Naval Prize Fund. He was awarded the GS Medal and Palestine Clasp, '39 - 45 star with rosette : Africa Star with Clasp: Atlantic Star with Rosette. He died in '74 from a cancer that had it's origins in the war. I joined the mob a couple of weeks before he died and his last advice was 'ears open, mouth shut, work hard, have fun but keep
it in my pants.' A lot of information came my way via Gus Britton but would like to know if any of our members served, had a run ashore or just a run in with him.  I hope to be able to make it to a meeting soon. Cheers Miles Greenway.

Fess Parker asks "Hi Fellers, I was just wondering if anyone has heard anything of my old oppo Lofty Ritchie. I've not heard a thing from him since I left the Mob. His daughter tried to contact me some time ago but by the time I found out about it the web entry no longer existed. No news from this end".

Bruce Jackson (Ex CPOCOX skimmer) is trying to locate ex CPOCOXSM Milton Pascoe. Bruce joined up with Milton from Canberra in 1966 and said that some of our fellow JRs from the 15th intake at Leeuwin are trying to get a reunion going … Peter (Ben) Franklin is working on getting the word out and around. Please contact Frank, snailmail 531 Creamery Rd, Tyntynder South, VIC, 3585 if you were in this intake.

Do you have any knowledge of these, if so please let me know.

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaanddaabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do, can i get you one."
"Nooo, dddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"

Expect noise in a Navy town
Birdies are upsetting the natives in Nowra. Noticed this news item by P. Drury, Nowra. Monday, 31 July 2006.
A Comment on your story in last week's South Coast Register of the Berry resident complaining about the noise from the Navy planes. He would not have wanted to be living in Nowra in the 1950s when there were fixed wing jets screaming across the sky. The locals just accepted it and got on with their lives. Come on, man, this is a Navy town what do you expect (gliders)? If you don't like it leave. If you were living in Beirut you would have cause for complaint. NW: And we thought that the bloke who lived next door to Platypus had something to complain about?

HMS Onyx has new home
"Norm, thought you might like this and perhaps any 'old Onyx ' crew might like to respond" said Thor Lund after receiving an item from a friend, which said "Thought you might like to see some pictures of the ONYX coming into Barrow. My good friend Terry Spurling runs the Submarine Heritage Trust and has procured the boat on the Trust's behalf. I am sure he would love to hear from you as he is getting details of the crew etc. etc."  Onyx was my first actual submarine posting, I joined her for her workup in Faslane just after commissioning.  A no badge part 3 LSMTP dink, just imagine how easy things were for me.  Any Onyx crew out there please contact Terry.

Citations from our past
Terry Parsons visited the Australian Bravery Association website and found the following citations from a sad period of our submarine history. He wrote "A BIG MEMORY for me and still paying for it with my own health, although, I feel it is something of note for the Oberon Squadron's History".

POMTPSM Harry Rollinson
On 1 March 1981 submarine HMAS Onslow was submerged during sea exercises off the East Coast of Australia when, during certain procedures in stopping engines, a dense cloud of white acrid, noxious smoke filled the Engine Room and circulated through the ventilation system into the Control Room and accommodation area seriously affecting, and endangering the lives of, a large number of crew. Petty Officer Rollinson and another seaman proceeded to the Engine Room to restart the engine in order to clear the smoke from the submarine. They donned breathing apparatus giving a supply of air for no more than 15 minutes. The air in the breathing unit ran out just before the final start routine was completed, and soon after the other seaman collapsed. Petty Officer Rollinson then donned an emergency breathing unit and started the engine to enable the air to clear. Whilst the smoke was still relatively thick the air in Petty Officer Rollinson's emergency unit ran out; but he continued to tend the engine until normal air circulation in the submarine recommenced.

In his persistent efforts in the Engine Room Petty Officer Rollinson displayed considerable bravery. He placed the safety of the submarine and the survival and well being of other crew members above his own safety.

CPOMTPSM David Grant
On 1 March 1981 submarine HMAS Onslow was submerged during sea exercises off the East Coast of Australia when, during certain procedures in stopping engines, a dense cloud of white acrid, noxious smoke filled the Engine Room and circulated through the ventilation system into the Control Room and accommodation area seriously affecting, and endangering the lives of, a large number of the crew. Chief Petty Officer Grant donned breathing apparatus and, on his hands and knees, searched the Engine Room for signs of fire. He removed his breathing mask to report 'safety from fire' and in so doing inhaled the fumes. Although now affected by the smoke he then searched the accommodation area and found an unconscious seaman. He reported the casualty and, notwithstanding he was near collapse, attempted to revive the sailor by mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and by using air from his own breathing unit.

By his actions in ensuring that the Engine Room was safe and in attempting to revive an unconscious seaman Chief Petty Officer Grant displayed considerable bravery.

Fatal Ascent the story of the ill fated HMS Seal
In May 1940, Able Seaman Hugh Reynolds, then of High Street, was among the sweating, gasping crew of the ill fated HM Submarine Seal. The sub was lying on the seabed of the Kattegat with her crew being slowly poisoned and seemingly no chance of escape.  Above them, German forces waited for the inevitable. Eventually the ship had no option but to surface and raise the white flag of surrender - the first time British warship had surrendered since 1812.  Fatal Ascent - HMS Seal 1940, is a hard-back book measuring 240 mm x 160 mm and containing 272 pages of exceedingly well-researched material.

The Northern Fleet Still Glows In The Dark
A fourteen year old Russian attack submarine (SSN), the Victor III class Tambov (K-448), suffered a leak in its nuclear reactor recently. Apparently it was radioactive coolant. The leak was severe enough for several sailors to be hospitalized. The incident occurred at the Russian Northern Fleet sub base in Murmansk, on the Arctic coast, in late July. The Russian navy reported that there was no "nuclear contamination of the naval base," which local civilians interpret as meaning that the radioactive material was confined to the sub. Apparently, the sailors sent to the hospital, where just sent as a precaution, to make sure they had not suffered any immediate, or lasting, harm. In 1989, a similar leak aboard a Russian sub at sea, caused several serious casualties, and some radioactive water was released into the ocean.

The Russian navy has a long history of nuclear accidents aboard its submarines. Numerous sailors, suffering from radiation poisoning, were treated at special hospitals in the Murmansk area. Locals liked to say that, "you can always tell a man from the Northern Fleet, as he glows in the dark." Dark humor like that, and poor morale among sub crews, led to major improvements in the nuclear shielding, and reactor safety, on Russian nuclear subs. But Russian safety standards are still below those of Western navies operating nuclear subs.  Website

New class of Spanish submarine.
A US company has been awarded a $73.8 million contract by Spanish ship-builder Navantia to provide periscopes, optical imaging systems and "hoistable masts" for the S-80 submarine program.  "The advanced submarine imaging systems represent the state of the art in design and performance and will provide the Spanish fleet with 24-hour all-weather capability," said Kollmorgen Electro-Optical President Michael Wall in a statement.

UTC Power will develop a "proton exchange membrane" fuel cell, which will produce electricity from ethanol and oxygen. The Spanish Navy has commissioned four of the 2,400-ton S-80-class submarines for construction in the coming years. An additional four could be ordered in the future, the companies said.

Pakistan has no offensive designs: President launches submarine
President Pervez Musharraf has said that Pakistan follows a strategy of defensive deterrence and does not have offensive designs against anyone. He was speaking at the launching ceremony of the indigenously-built Agosta 90-B submarine, now called ‘Hamza’. This submarine has given an offensive punch to the navy.

U.S. Navy base to close in 2008
The U.S. Navy will close a nuclear submarine base on the Italian island of Sardinia in the first half of 2008, the Italian Defense Ministry said yesterday.The date was agreed on by the Italian and U.S. governments in recent days, a ministry spokesman said. The two agreed in principle in November to close the Maddalena base, which has been in operation since the early 1970s. Environmentalists have complained for years that the base is a hazard.

US fast-attack submariner has been charged with spying
A 21-year-old sailor on a US fast-attack submarine has been charged with spying for a country believed to be Russia, the US Navy said overnight. The sailor was identified as Ariel Wienmann, a petty officer and fire control technician aboard the USS Albuquerque. Charge sheets released by the navy said Wienmann copied classified information while on the submarine, stole a laptop and peddled classified information to foreign agents in Manama, Vienna and Mexico City. The charge sheets do not identify the country that Wienmann allegedly spied for, but a defense official who asked not to be identified said, “They believe it was Russia.” The official said the intelligence damage did not appear to be great.

Sunday, 6^th AUGUST 2006

A cool damp day so I suppose sitting here typing this stuff is better than going out to fix the pool pump which has packed up.  Bloody seeds from the neighbours trees get in and seize the impellor and I have o take it apart.  Simple you may say, but remember, I was a bright work and bilges Chief Stoker for a reason...........

I spent many hours yesterday updating Buddies in Boats, I did not realise how far behind I was, but at last all entries are now online.  Still a heap of photos needed though, so if you have not sent yours yet please get the digit out.  Lindsay Peck and Andy Armes were amongst the new entries and you have an opportunity to see them both as young lads, scary! 

I was reading some Minutes from recent AGMs and was very disappointed at the extremely low numbers that have been attending or submitting an apology. It is pathetic when you consider the size of our membership.  No wonder those that serve on Committees get frustrated and pack it in.  I know we all have other things on our plate, but so do the members of he Committees that are elected at these AGMs, to look after the running of YOUR Branch.  To spare one day a year is not too much to ask and at least then you can add your input to the future direction of the SAA.  Do the right thing, turn up at a meeting occasionally, you may even enjoy it.  Most branches encourage you to bring your partner so why not give her/him a night out.

Now to get off my soap box and get on with this week's update.

Around the Traps
The Slops Van has supplied UK buyer, Tex Ranger (Ex Odin), with an Australian Submarines shirt that he says he will wear with pride to his Branch meeting a week on Sunday. Tex is the Treasurer of the Scottish Branch of the Submariner Association.

Garry Bax sent out a message that made me jealous; "Just to let you know that we will helping the economy of the Cook Islands (especially the local brewery) 'till the 15th Aug. Lousy job but then, we are public spirited people. Please no mail 'till then otherwise this poor old machine will suffer from clogged insides and throw a tantrum.
Yours in bowls and fishing, Garry".

Victorian President Mike Bennett reports that an ex-member of the Gosport Branch, John Hare (CPO MEM(M))  has "Crossed the Bar on his Last Patrol", aged 61. John served in HMS Otter, Trump, Opossum, Olympus and Onyx. Mike says that John was a Killick Stoker the last time he across him in 1976, in Dolphin Spare Crew.

Kev O'Carroll from Helensburgh, Scotland said "G'day from Scotland !! Having browsed your website (excellent, by the way), I came across a note concerning the promotion of LEUT Lance Cartledge. Would it be possible for you to pass on a big "hello" to him, and forward my details if he'd care to get in touch with me. Lance and I were buddies way back whenever in the Periscope workshop at Faslane, and we lost touch about ten years ago, long after he was well settled into Australian life, and I was embarking on a new life running a pub! Many thanks in anticipation. Cheers!"

Peter Smith found this in the Monday 31 July issue of the Daily Telegraph. “London: Britain is suffering a sperm donation crisis due to the abolition of donor anonymity rights.” Peter asks "Does this insinuate that British men are not a pack of wankers?"

Des (Dick) Petty wrote "Hello Norm, just a little info re the photo sent in by Ray Lawrence entitled 1970 Puerto Rico. The person sitting next to Johny Cornish is "Peewee" Petherick and the person next to him is almost certainly Big Ned during one of his beardless phases."

Just to remind you that sandy has a selection of his works available for sale, great gifts, and these are on display in the Slops Van.

It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your wife's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

 Lee Bond sent this link to a Honda UK commercial where an acappella choir provides all the sound effects for the car. Absolutely brilliant.....turn your volume up ...

Thought for today... The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

CDRE Mike Deeks CSC RAN (rtd)
Last month's Log contained the biography of our current Commodore Australian Navy Submarine Group (CANSG), CDRE Rick Shalders CSC RAN.  This month I decided to see what the previous CANSG, Mike Deeks, has been up to since he left the mob.

Commodore Deeks served some 32 years in the RAN in a variety of operational and staff posts, culminating in his appointment as CANSG and Senior Defence Officer, Western Australia in 2001. He retired in 2005. Service included command of three submarines and the Fleet Replenishment ship, HMAS SUCCESS. Awards include the Conspicuous Service Cross for service as the Submarine Group Commander and Senior Naval Officer, WA and the Australian Service Medal with Submarine Operations clasp.

As a result of studies conducted while in the RAN Mike is a Fellow of the Australian Institute of Company Directors and holds both a Masters in Management and a Batchelor of Arts.

Mike is on the Governing Council of Challenger TAFE. The council oversees the strategic directions and financial management for the provision of vocational education and training. The Council is a 'body corporate', with the power to do all that is necessary to fulfil its functions under the VET Act. It is a self-governing statutory authority. Members of the Council are appointed by the Minister for Education and Training.

He is Vice Patron of the Australian American Association of WA, a Councillor of the Royal United Services Institute of WA, a Governor of the Leeuwin Ocean Adventures Foundation and former President and current Board member of the Submarine Institute of Australia. Since retiring from the Navy, he has been appointed Chairman of the Board of Nautronix Ltd, a Fremantle based company involved in underwater technology. He is also working with the WA Government to develop WA-based defence industry. Commodore Deeks interests include ocean yacht racing, scuba diving, kayaking and reading. He has completed numerous offshore yacht races including four Sydney to Hobart Races.

Thought for today... When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Why we Split up
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.
...Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
...And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.
...She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
...I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back..........           

Defence Motorcycle Awareness Campaign
Defence has approximately 5,000 riders across Australia. As part of this $1.9 million campaign, licensed motorcycle riders - both ADF members and Defence civilians - can access fully refundable advanced rider skills courses once every three years.  These courses will be run by professional accredited training providers around Australia, and will help Defence people become safer and better riders.  It will also raise awareness among other road users - particularly those around military bases - of motorcycles and scooters on our roads. By heightening safety awareness and improving the skills of its riders, Defence is investing in protecting its most important asset - its people.

Single ADF members will pay less for Living-in Accommodation (LIA).
Defence has completed work on a new method for calculating the LIA contribution paid by many single ADF members, resulting in members paying less for their LIA this financial year. The new contribution rates for LIA took effect from 27 July 2006. Members will see a corresponding increase in their disposable income from 10 August 2006. The new method applies the same principle already used to calculate contributions paid by members with dependants who live in service residences.  The degree of difference between the LIA rates last year and the rates this year is a result of the change to the new method of calculating the rates. Contributions will fall for all members by between $2.80 and $34.15 per week.

Thought for today... Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

Air Warfare Destroyer Systems Centre opens in Adelaide
This centre will house Defence and industry participants who will work together on the $4.5-6 billion Air Warfare Destroyer Program and bring the successful design to life. This is a unique arrangement in which the Air Warfare Destroyer Alliance - the Defence Materiel Organisation (DMO), ASC Shipbuilder Pty Ltd (the shipbuilder) and Raytheon Australia Pty Ltd (the combat system systems engineer) - will work with two competing ship designers in the one building.   There is an Alliance Board Charter which outlines how all parties will work together, while maintaining healthy competition between the two designers.

Both the existing design (based on the Navantia F100 in service with the Spanish Navy) and evolved design by Gibbs & Cox, Inc. (based on the Arleigh Burke Class destroyer in service with the US Navy and seen for the first time today), will be developed by the AWD Alliance for consideration by Government in the second half of 2007. This competitive arrangement will ensure the Government gets the information it needs to pick the best design to ensure the ADF gets the best possible capability.

The decision to build these ships in Australia helps our economy, by providing new, "smart" jobs in an industry that is strategically important for Australia.

Once they are in service, our Air Warfare Destroyers will provide our Navy with a significant new capability and will be uniquely suited to a range of maritime operations, ranging from high intensity conflict to border protection. In the words of Vice Admiral Russ Shalders, they will provide "a protective bubble for whatever area they are working in".  Images of the two competing Designs for the Air Warfare Destroyer Program can be found at this link.

Frank Owens, Treasurer of the Submarines Institute Australia (SIA) reports that they will hold its third biennial conference from 7-9 November 2006 at the Australian War Memorial, Canberra. With the theme of "The Key Challenges in Achieving an Underwater Warfare Capability to Meet Australia's Needs in the Period 2020-2050", the conference has an impressive array of Australian and international speakers headed by the Minister for Defence. The six sessions extend over Wednesday 8th and Thursday 9th after an opening Cocktail Party in Parliament House on Tuesday 7th.? The Conference Dinner will be held in Anzac Hall, Australian War Memorial on Wednesday evening underneath the Japanese midget submarine recovered after the attack on Sydney Harbour and the Conference will be followed by the SIA Annual General Meeting. The Conference addresses:
The Strategic Environment 2020; Australia's Underwater Warfare Capability; Acquiring the Capability; AE2 Update; Shaping the Future Climate; and Long Lead Activities.

US Sub damaged after hitting tow line
A Trident submarine was damaged after snagging a tow line in the Strait of Juan de Fuca. The USS Nevada was submerged when it caught and severed a 500-foot line between the tugboat Phyllis Dunlap and one of two barges being towed from Honolulu to Seattle with a load of empty containers. Members of the sub's crew felt the impact, and damage was found in a fiberglass part of the sail after the vessel returned to its base on Hood Canal.

Outgoing admiral expresses frustration over slow pace of submarine repairs
The retiring commander of Canada's East Coast fleet has expressed frustration about the time it will take to return the fire-damaged submarine HMCS Chicoutimi to service. At a change-of-command ceremony in Halifax, Rear Admiral Dan McNeil said there's been a great deal of second-guessing about the submarine program by bureaucrats since a fire aboard the submarine killed Lieut. Chris Saunders in October 2004.

McNeil says without four operational submarines the navy will not be able to effectively patrol Canada's three oceans. In April, it was announced Chicoutimi will not be repaired until 2010 - raising the possibility the warship will never return to service.  Senator Colin Kenney, chairman of the standing committee on national defence, says he's worried about the future of not only Chicoutimi, but of the entire submarine program.

St Petersburg Shipyards conducts sea trials of new diesel submarine
Admiralty Shipyards, a St. Petersburg-based company, said it had started the second round of sea trials of a new diesel-electric submarine. The Project 677 or Lada-class diesel submarine, was designed by the Rubin design bureau and conducted factory sea trials in December 2005.

The submarine, whose export version is known as the Amur 1650, features a new anti-sonar coating for the hull, an extended cruising range and advanced anti-ship and anti-submarine weaponry. A second Lada-class submarine, the Kronshtadt, which is also the first in production series, is being built at the shipyard and another submarine, the Petrozavodsk, will be laid down in the near future, the company said.

Admiralty Shipyards is a state-owned company that specializes in the design, production and modernization of civil and naval surface ships and submarines. Since 1910, the company has constructed 300 submarines (including 41 nuclear submarines) and 68 deep-diving and underwater vehicles. It controls 15% of the global submarine sales market. It has built Kilo-class submarines for India, China and Iran.

Greenies protest nuclear submarine in Gibraltar
Members of the Verdemar ecologist group have complained about the presence of a United States nuclear submarine on Gibraltar, describing it as ‘a terrorist act and a floating bomb’. The USS Memphis has been in waters of the Bay of Algeciras since Friday, for a routine stop for shore leave, according to a British MOD statement.

  Come on Boof, lets go and clean the pool........