A busy week, full of highs and lows.

Lows - Having to ditch 15,000 gallons of fresh water to carry out maintenance on the in ground tanks - cost $700.  Then having to pay $200 for a load of fresh water to partly replenish tank.

Highs - Hearing that my sister-in-laws operation for bowel cancer went well. Getting in touch with a water borer that has promised to turn up.  Getting the septic tank pumped out.  Getting some rain to help replenish tank.

Ditching the water was a real piss off and my grass now looks like a swamp, except for the area that the sludge was pumped, it is now a bog, inches deep in rich mud.

Despite all of this I am content and will be heading off again this week for a short stay on the Gold Coast.

I would like to do an update soon on father/mother/son/daughter serving members and if you are one of these I would appreciate a few lines with details.  A photo would be good too if possible.

Got to go, have lots to do.

Garry Coombe reports "Was onboard Ovens yesterday when I was approached by a lady named Vivien Carlsson, who was the sister of Peter Stock, a greenie who commissioned Otway. Peter left submarines in the early seventies and, unfortunately, died at the age of 33. She had never been on a submarine before and was CURIOUS TO SEE the confines her brother worked in. I provided her with the web address so she can access it at her leisure and find the names of some of Peter's contemporaries.

I must advise you of the loss of David McQuoid, who passed away while visiting his son in Queensland several weeks ago. David was not a submariner but was a volunteer guide on Ovens at the Maritime Museum in Fremantle for many years. He was a kind and gentle man who readily gave of himself and also volunteered his time to several other museums and galleries in Fremantle and Perth. While it is a struggle to procure the services of ex-submariners, or serving submariners for that matter, as volunteer guides for Ovens, people like David step into the void to ensure that the tours continue. Unfortunately David lost his wife of many years, Dulcie, last June and he never really recovered from the loss. He will be missed by all of us at the museum.

Further to Sandy Freeleagus getting into the pooh - it seems pooh followed Sandy wherever he went. I recall one very rainy evening, when Otway was at Garden Island (Sydney) for a basin dive in 1974, Sandy strolled through the main gate at HMAS Kuttabul with a very large umbrella for shelter. An enraged WO Coxswain confronted him and bellowed "If the navy wanted you to have an umbrella, you would have been issued with one!"

Sandy nonchalantly replied "If the navy wanted me to be wet they would have made me a coxswain!"  See, the whole world is out of step, except for Sandy.

There was a snippet in a Bunbury newspaper a few weeks back with regards to a motel owner who was selling up after some 40 years in the business and, as he recalled some of the more stranger aspects of motel management, mentioned an occasion when a bus stop appeared in one of his motel rooms. This was probably during a visit by Oxley when a certain stoker, who shall remain nameless but his initials were Ken Morgan, took it upon himself to dismantle one of Bunbury's (then) new prefabricated bus stops and reassemble it in his (and my) room! Needless to say the cleaning lady was not too happy the following morning and it took quite a while for us to get the bus stop out and back to its original site. Luckily Ken had the foresight to dismantle the stop directly outside the motel and not one some distance away."

Paul 'Dicko' Dickson, EX WOCISSM and now Sonar Support Officer at the Collins Combat SPO, writes "Just to let you know I was out on a fishing charter boat today off the ammo wharf in the sound doing some trials for the combat SPO with three ex CPOETSMs, Wacka Payne, John Wheeler and Paul Green. The thing that was amazing was they all worked all day and not one of them had a DWEEO nap on one of the bunks on the boat which is truly an amazing event. I think it was the first time I have ever been to sea and not seen the DWEEO go a full day at work without a little lie down." what surprises me was that Dicko was awake all day to witness this phenomenon, he is known for his ability to get his share of z time, both on and off watch....

This month, Kevin Rudd celebrated his 50th Birthday. His wife Therese, thought that Kevin had been pushing himself too hard, especially because he was trying to become the Prime Minister of Australia, so for his birthday she decided to take him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Kev! How ya doin?"  His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. "Oh no," says Rudd. "He’s a member of the local branch of the Labor party."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Kevin if he’d like his usual and brings over a Carlton draught.  His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Carlton draught."  "Oh she’s a waitress at parliament house and I guess works here as well."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Kevin, starts to rub herself all over him and says "Hi Kev. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Therese is now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Rudd follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Rudd tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns  his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Kev!"

Health matters.......... VRB Determination on prostrate cancer
The Veterans Review Board positive decision on malignant neoplasm of the prostate needs the widest possible dissemination as it has enormous potential long-term ramifications for RAN members. Plus if it makes a few more males go and be tested, sailors or otherwise, more’s the good. Dr Roderick Bain, National Vice President Australian Veterans And Defence Services Council and RSL Consultant on Veterans' Health writes "Considering the number of ADF members who will have surgery for this complaint whether it carries them off or not and particularly considering the possible complications, any one who even thinks he might be a starter i.e. Male and over forty-five, he should be made aware and have at least a PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test done on a regular basis. E.g. three yearly.

If all goes well at surgery you can be fine. But, considering the number of flow on problems short and/or long term that can arise, then it should be individually recognized as a war service related ailment and not just treated as a cancer that those with qualifying service will automatically receive free treatment anyway, service related or not.

The distinction may sound like a DVA nicety but the practicality of this formal recognition is otherwise. The potential for problems are legion and DVA should be travelling with men and families from when a diagnosis has been determined. Every Pension Officer and sailor should be made aware of this VRB judgement.

The medical evidence for this relationship is not profound but it is on DVA’s books so make the fullest use of it, particularly as these days the diagnosis is being made in younger and younger age groups all the time. It has become a disease of middle age now, not exclusively one for the older man." In a PS. to the email Rod added "I’ve travelled this whole rocky road, so the above advice is more that just a professional observation."

DFDRB Indexation - don't hold your breath if you are waiting for Labor to help...
John Hogg has sent me the following email that he received after sending out information on the discriminatory way that DFRDB pensions are allocated. 

"I was shocked after I read the attachment you sent on the Indexation of DFRDB Pensions and straight away I put pen to paper to my local Labor Candidate seeking clarification on what Labor's policy is on the matter.....and guess what they don't have one yet! I have attached his reply for information.  The response stated:

"Thank you for your correspondence relating to the current indexation method of defence superannuation pensions.  You would be aware that defence superannuation pensions are indexed to the Consumer Price Index (CPI). On 24 April 2007 the Australian Bureau of Statistics announced a CPI change of -0.06% which meant that your pension received no twice yearly increase.

While the CPI has risen by 1.2% in the June quarter, defence superannuation pensioners will not gain an increase until January 2008, which is the next assessment date. In the meantime, these superannuants will continue to endure rising prices (such as petrol 9.1% and food 1.7% in the June quarter) without any increase in their pension.

The Howard Government has flatly refused to review the method of indexation. This is in spite of a Senate Select Committee having concluded in 2001 that the current indexation method is unfair and is eroding defence force superannuants’ living standards.

When Labor pressed the Government on this issue at Senate Estimates Committee hearings in May 2007, it was informed that changing the indexation method would add $18 billion to the Commonwealth’s public sector superannuation liability which the Future Fund is designed to meet . However, the Howard Government refused to provide the formula used to calculate this figure.

This refusal to provide essential information to calculate future Commonwealth superannuation liabilities has made it difficult to hold informed debate on this issue and for Labor to properly cost alternative policies. The Howard Government refuses to be accountable to military personnel about their superannuation.

Labor has consulted with ComSuper, DFRDB superannuants and a number of ex-service organisations. These organisations have raised a range of superannuation issues, including indexation, reversionary benefits for couples, the impact of Simplified Superannuation tax changes, and tax treatment of non-super income.

Labor is considering these matters as it formulates its policy for the upcoming election and will continue to consult with ComSuper, DFRDB superannuants and ex-service organisations. We will endeavour to keep you informed of policy developments in this area. - Graham McBride - Labor Candidate for Dunkley

Les Dwyer, National President of the Naval Association of Australia has stated "Looking at what is going on in the Parliament it is my personal belief from the soundings that I have taken that we have got a snowball's chance in hell of getting DFRDB indexed to MTAWE or the CPI (whichever is the greater) by the current Government.

I am not in a position to argue the costs of this, but imagine if it is going to cost $330 Million to fix the Disability Pension mess (which has been signed-up to by the current Liberal Government) then it is going to cost considerably more to fix the DFRDB mess - but $6 Billion??????"

I am interested to hear what the Submarines Association and other the ex service associations are doing to make the Government aware of it's concerns on this issue, the election is looming....  I will pose the question to the SAA President and National welfare coordinator and let you know when I receive a response.

Can you help?
Tony Mol from Stourport-on-Severn asks "Hi there ..... I have no connection with submarines, but in a charity shop I stumbled across this pewter mug..... on it says; Huntly xx .. HMS Taciturn ..1964-66 .. Australian station. Could you please help?

Artifacts required for the S/M Museum. There is a full scale nuclear bunk space on show, at the R.N. Submarine Museum, in the John Fieldhouse Building. Alexandra Geary, Keeper of Artifacts at the Museum writes "We intend to exhibit in the lockers, stuff used at sea throughout the years.  Artifacts can be sent to me at"
Royal Navy Submarine Museum
Haslar Jetty Road
Gosport, Hampshire PO12 2AS

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, 'How much is the Barbie in the display window?'

New Windscreen Stickers Available now in the Slops Van

The salesperson answers, 'Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95, and,
Divorced Barbie for $265.95

The amazed father asks: 'What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The salesperson annoyingly answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and...one of Ken's Friends.'

ADM for British Servicemen????
Last weeks item regarding the possible award of the ADM to British serviceman that served in Australia but were not Members of the ADF has opened a can of worms as it appears from items appearing in the MODOracle forum that this may be the case.  Noel Nash, after receiving my response on the matter raised in his original email replied "Thanks very much for your reply. We were pretty sure that us “Poms” were not entitled to the ADM, however we know of at least one individual who has claimed the ADM and received it. We think that he submitted the AD 497 application form as a “fishing expedition” and because of the sheer number of applicants it has slipped through the net somehow. He now openly boasts about his award. I have pasted some of his postings on various UK Service Forums below this E Mail.

His postings will no doubt result in others applying and either slipping through the net or being rejected. He calls himself various names including Tabard, Vet RN and others; we have obscured his name on the first post. Relevant bits have been highlighted. You will notice that although he received his ADM on the 1st of February 2007, yet on the 7/8th of May he was enquiring about eligibility and on the 8th of September on a UK RN Forum he was still being vague about it! We have written to the ADF Honours people drawing their attention to this; perhaps you could put something on the SM4 section informing all UK Enlisted RN Veterans that despite rumours they are not eligible for the ADM? Thanks once again for your assistance, gong stealers really piss us all off."

This following was sent to me by an ex RN submariner who noted "The UK vistor inquiring about the Australian Defence medal is only a troublemaker. He is a Major (retd) RAMC and is incensed that a member of his old comrades association received the ADM recently for service in the ADF. He started another thread on the submariners rum ration site which was eventually put in the gash barge by the moderator.

The post read" "I am doing some research on behalf of fellow veterans into the Australian Defence Medal (ADM). We have heard that RN Submariners who were posted to the 4th Submarine Squadron at HMAS Penguin in Sydney between 1947 and 1967 have been awarded the ADM. However the Australian MOD have refused the ADM to Army personnel who served both in Australia and with the Aussies in 28th Commonwealth Brigade. They state emphatically that the ADM is an Australian citizen only award and those eligible must have served for 4 years in the Australian Defence Forces (ADF). Can any of you shed light on this? Do you know of anyone who has received the ADM? If so do you know how they circumvented the 4 year Aussie only rule?

The application for the award reads:

The Australian Defence Medal (ADM) has been established to recognise serving and former Australian Defence Force (ADF) Regular and Reserve personnel who have demonstrated their commitment and contribution to the nation by serving for at least four years, or, completion of their initial term of engagement, whichever is the lesser from 3 September 1945 onwards.

Who is eligible?
In addition, eligibility for the ADM will be extended to ex-service personnel who:
have died in service;

• have been medically discharged with a compensatory impairment at the time of their discharge, thus rendering them

• unable to serve the required minimum qualifying period; or

• have honourably served but, due to some Defence workplace enlistment policies of the time (as determined by the Chief of the Defence Force), were unable to serve the required minimum qualifying period.

Shane Richards wrote "When I was in Faslane in 2004, the RN had already put out a medal similar to the ADM, it was titled the Queens Medal, as far as I am aware the Canadians have one also, Due to Australia not having the imperial medals anymore we had to call it some thing different…Don’t know how true all this is but its what I was told by the Australian staff in London during 2004 long look. So if its true then those that served in Australia would have received the Queens medal anyway which according to the above is virtually the same medal. Best someone contact the medal section in Canberra to be sure."

If any British ex serviceman is really desperate for a gong, give me a call and I will nominate you for the Wannabe Medal, one of our most highly regarded awards.  Phillip is pictured here awarding it to recipients recently.

As an aside Lloyd Blake reports "As part of my research into RAN Submarines 1914 – 2014 I found that any RAN Submariners who were posted Ship’s Company in RN Boats (on completion of PT III Training) have an RN service record. Can be confirmed via SM Museum at Gosport. Cannot think why we would want an RN award but the records are available for those who seek access."

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand. The Scotsman man shouts " Awa ye feel hoor thats full O' coos Sharn" (Don't drink the water, it's full of cow shite.) The man shouts back "I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you". The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in."

Royal Australian Navy's new uniform
The Royal Australian Navy is set to benefit from a new two-piece fire-retardant uniform, complete with improved safety boots. Much of the design for the replacement Navy uniform derives from the land warfare version introduced in the mid-90s by the Australian Army. The two-piece uniform will align with other ADF combat uniforms in its use of the Australian Camouflage (AUSCAM) pattern, but will be unique to Navy in terms of the littoral colours used and the addition of reflective tape on the upper arms.

There are tangible benefits in moving to a two-piece uniform in terms of health, comfort and morale. The ability to ‘relax’ the level of dress, depending on the nature of the operation, is seen as advantageous in combating heat related illness and it will provide both male and female personnel at sea with an enhanced practical contemporary uniform, distinct to Navy.

Patrol Boat crews operating in the tropical and humid environments in our northern waters are particularly looking forward to the introduction of the new uniform, and are mooted to be amongst the first recipients.

There will also be a benefit of inventory rationalisation as Action Working Dress, which saw introduction in 1945, is also phased out and replaced by the two-piece uniform.

Following a review of footwear, replacement safety boots will be introduced into service to provide greater comfort and the inventory will be reduced, with the alternative boot expected to do the job of five other types of footwear currently in use.

Sixty thousand sets of the uniform are required for the initial delivery to the RAN and this represents a $13m dollar injection into the Australian textile and manufacturing industries.

Rollout of the new two-piece fire-retardant operational uniform will commence mid-2008.

HMAS Platypus to get $40m facelift
The federal government will spend $40 million to clean up the toxic HMAS Platypus site in Sydney's north, North Sydney federal MP Joe Hockey says.

Pollutants have been leaking into Sydney Harbour from the former north shore submarine base for many years.  Work would start late this year. Some of the money would be spent on removing contaminated materials by barge, instead of using trucks which could cause traffic problems.

"The site is now going to be turned over to the community, so we've saved this site from becoming yet more residential development in Sydney, and ensured that the site is handed to the community for community use," Mr Hockey told reporters.

He said he had begun campaigning for the remediation of the site after the submarine base moved to Western Australia more than a decade ago.

Navy – the Team Works
A new advertising campaign that aims to ‘switch on’ more people to consider a career in the Royal Australian Navy will be launched this weekend.  The main message for the campaign is ‘Navy – the Team Works.’

The campaign invites people to consider joining the team and experiencing all the benefits on offer in the Navy. This new campaign will deliver information on what a career and lifestyle in the Navy is like.

‘Navy – the Team Works’ is designed to firmly reinforce service values (primarily that of teamwork), highlighting the important role the Navy plays in protecting Australia’s borders and clearly establishing the skills an individual will obtain.

The advertising will show the Navy as a modern, progressive and worthwhile organisation where people work in teams to achieve amazing things. (Things must have changed in the last few months NW)

New Polo shirt range, still only $27.50 Yarn CoolDry is a revolutionary new generation fabric that has a multi-silt fiber design that acts as a capillary to rapidly draw moisture to the outside of the fabric, making it dry quickly. The Yarn CoolDry moisture management process offers the ultimate in comfort to the wearer.   Navy and White   White and Navy - Other colours by request. Shirts embroidered with the Submarines Australia logo or without. Other colours by request.   Visit the Slops Van now. Baseball caps with logo - special price $12.50 plus postage.

Russian engineers want lift of sunken submarine 2007-09-27
The Sat Petersburg engineering company “Malakhit” has been requested to prepare a plan for the lifting of the sunken B-159 nuclear-powered submarine. The sub sunk with nine sailors on board during a towing operation from a navy base to the place of decommissioning in August 2003.  According to Interfax, studies made around the submarine wreck this summer show that there is no danger of radioactive leaks from the vessel. Still, the Malakhit company, the constructors of the vessel, has been requested to come up with a proposal on how to lift the vessel from the sea bottom.

The proposal will be submitted by 10 October, sources in the company confirms. The actual decision to lift the vessel or not will be made by the Russian Navy Command together with experts from the Kurchatov Institute.

  Come on Boof, let's have a beer, it's been a long week.....

Sunday, 23^rd SEPTEMBER 2007